Dancing on the Edge

Easter Weekend, the write up

I just watched the montage again and I have to say - I'm such a sap. Every time I see it, I cry. I'm so glad we were up there this past weekend. So, so glad.

I was able to have my mom all to myself for a while Saturday afternoon and it was really great. She was in her room resting on her bed when we arrived so I set the kids up in the living room with some toys (Dakota stayed with them) and went back to sit with my mom. She didn't have a lot to say as talking is very difficult for her now but I managed to chat enough for the both of us. She would answer yes or no, laugh when I said something funny and even managed to get a few multi-word sentences. I told her I was in complete awe of her being able to raise 5 children because sometimes I feel I can barely raise the two I have. She said "You have wonderful children. Beautiful." It broke my heart and made me proud at the same time. I shared with her how I felt about watching them grow up and how hard it is for me that Kelton will be starting school. How hard it is to let them go. She listened and said "Yes. It is hard. I raised you." I knew she was saying that she knew how hard it is to let your children grow up and move on because she had to do it with me. I think she was also telling that me everything will be ok.

It was hard emotionally but I'm so glad I had that time. I needed it. I need more but I have to be happy with what I am able to get. It's not like I can move into a hotel with the kids and stay up there. I wish I could but I can't.

I also had a really good visit with my brother. We have never gotten to spend much time together until recently and I am so happy that we are able to now. I love watching him with my kids and they, of course, adore their Uncle James (though frankly I think Kelton has a crush on my brother's girlfriend. It's kinda cute!). On Friday we met James and Cara at their house and then went to pick up lunch to take to the nearby park. The park was so much fun!

After the park, we headed up to our hotel and got settled in just in time for me to head over to my parents house. Traffic was awful and what should have been a 7 minute drive from the hotel to the house was 35 minutes. Ugh! James and Cara were already there but James said that when I walked into the room, my mom lighted up and where they were only getting nods and shrugs, she started talking in 3 and 4 word sentences when she talked with me. Guess I'm pretty special. *laughing*

After visiting for a bit, we all headed out. They followed me back to the hotel and we picked up Dakota and the kids and went out to Red Robin for dinner. Then we made a stop at Toys R Us to pick up gift cards my sister was needing. Of course, toys there are meant to be played with though I'm not sure who played with more of them - James or Kelton. Again, very fun to watch the interactions. :)

Then it was back to the hotel for bath and bedtime.

Saturday we were requested to be at my parents at 10am as one of the caregivers had arranged an Easter egg hunt complete with eater baskets for the 4 little ones in our family and the care givers two little ones. The kids had a blast and my mom had a really good time watching them. We really wore her out though so after about 2 hours, we all headed out so mom could rest. Dakota and I decided to go to the local mall to hang out for a few hours as well...you can only do so much hanging out with kids in a hotel room. We spent about 2 hours there and then headed back to the hotel to grab a bite to eat and rest a bit before going back over to see my parents.

After visiting for about an hour (my mom was still so tired from the morning that she was still resting when we got there which is when I had the earlier posted conversations with her) we said our goodbyes and left. My parents were going to go to Easter church service so between their getting ready and leaving and our packing and leaving, we weren't going to be seeing them again this trip. It was hard for me to leave.

We then drove up to my sister's house where everyone was gathering for dinner. After dinner, we let the kids run wild in the freshly tilled garden area. James set about digging a deep hole with the fence post digger and the kids had a blast climbing inside the hole. It was hysterical to watch! Tired and grimy, we plopped all four kids in the bath and after they were clean, dry and in their jammies we let them play. It was a really nice evening and we returned to the hotel exhausted and happy.

Sunday was Easter and the kids were thrilled to see that the Easter Bunny did indeed find them in the hotel. We even had an egg hunt! Talk about being prepared. :) Then it was packing and the long drive home.

For a weekend that I wasn't sure what to expect or if I would see anyone besides my parents, it really turned out to be a fantastic weekend. Emotionally overwhelming at times but a really great weekend. I was able to talk with my mom and make some really special memories to hang onto, watch my kids interacting with their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins and spend time with my brother and sister. I'm so glad we had the time.

Today the phone calls came from my sister and brother. Bladder infection (again) possible, lung infection still there though better than last time. What to do about antibiotics? Mom decided to not take any at this time since they are making her so sick. She may change her mind tomorrow or next week. It's whatever she wants to do. Without antibiotics, it's anyones guess. At this point, even with antibiotics it's anyones guess. She's been on antibiotics for weeks (3 months I think). When do they not do anymore good? It's so hard to wrap my mind around it all.

I am just so grateful for the time I had this past weekend. So, so grateful.