Just Another Day in Paradise
That's exactly what today was. Paradise. Not all of it, of course, but a huge portion of it. This afternoon the kids played so well together. Instead of watching TV or playing computer games (or begging me constantly to do either or both)they both played together and separately for hours. I'm talking hours! I don't think I've seen anything like it - ever. I only had to step in a couple times and even that was easy. No real fussing from either one of them. It was heaven!
And then tonight, they again played together without issue. The gathered up all the "friends" (as Kaylen calls her stuffed animals and dolls) and "buddies" (as Kelton calls all his) and piled them on top of themselves, giggling like fools. Then they put them on the floor and rolled off the couches onto them. Later they were in Kelton's bedroom playing with his building sets and other toys. Playing happily together. Happily!!
Again, no requests/demands for the TV or the computer. At one point I was thinking "who *are* these kids?" It was seriously bliss.
At bath time I gave the kids the option of not having a bath (Kelton considers this a treat better than most others) since I had let them play much longer than usual and it was creeping quickly towards lights out. Kelton took me up on the opt out but not Kaylen. She wanted her bath. Fine - easy enough. Not long after I finished washing her Kelton came in asking if he could play mom and watch her in the tub while she played. Sure thing! So I went off to do a couple things. Next thing I knew, he was brushing her teeth for her and then he got her out of the tub. He dried her off, carried her (!) to his room and was helping her get dressed. (Now don't think I'm a bad mom...I heard all of it and reappeared in the bathroom at the start of the tooth brushing. I just let him continue on with his role play.) I snatched up the camera and got some really cute pictures. I love the one of him trying to get her diaper on! :) It was fun to watch them together. They really are sweet with each other.
There are a couple factors that could be coming into play in this "about face" I've seen this week. The first is I think Kelton knows I'm standing firm on things and, having tested me endlessly the past few weeks, has all but given up arguing with me when I say "This is what we're doing now. We can look at doing XYZ later." In fact, all I have had to do these past few days is say "Please don't speak to me that way." or walk away if he fails to calm down quickly and he will rapidly change the direction of where the situation was heading.
The second thing we did we removed several of his "favorite shows" from his list of approved television. We realized that he had been picking up the obnoxious tones and sayings found in some of the tv programs he watched. Given that these were mostly Disney Channel shows, I've never given them much thought but last weekend Dakota and I sat down and watched a few with him and decided that some of them had to go. American Dragon, Jake Long and Timon and Pumba (which is horribly obnoxious when it comes to rude behavior, tone of voice and treatment of people) were the first to go. We're replaced them with shows like Blues Clues, Dora and Diego which we let him stop watching last year because they were "boring". Maybe they are boring when you are looking at turning 5 in a couple months but they are good shows that teach respect and manners. And besides, with all his bigger kid shows there never seemed to be time for Kaylen to watch things like Blue (whom she has fallen in love with!). You know what though? After only a couple complaints he has settled right down and is actually selecting Blues Clues to watch! And the improvement in his attitude speaks volumes! Volumes, I tell you!
I don't know if these are real magic bullets I've found but for now the house feels more calm and I feel like I have a better handle on what is happening and how to quickly change the direction if things are going well. It feels good. Really good.
Bring on more days like this.
2 comments:
YAY!! It sounds like things are running quite smoothly.
I'm not familiar with the shows you’ve eliminated. We are all Dora, Diego, Blues and Backyardagain’s around here.. with an occasional Pinky Dinky Doo and Jacks Big Music Show thrown in. We try to interject Sesame Street now and again, but the interest just isn't there like it used to be.
LOL... but that sounds like we watch a LOT of TV and they don't since they don't watch everything every day. Thank goodness I'm not the SAHM... or they would watch TV all day every day :).
Sonya:
I wasn't familiar with them until the past 4 months or so. :) My kids probably watch more tv than they should but cinsidering I am the only one here from the time they wake until the time they go to bed, it's become more of a necessary evil sometimes.
Tracey: I used to watch every single show with Kelton and talk about the content of the shows. I truly believe that is how he learned as much as he has in his life. :) That said, once Kaylen arrived, sitting and watching a tv show all the way through *and* discussing it is much more difficult to do. And I freely admit to the fact that he watches tv before I get up (he is up between 5 and 5:30 am every.single.day. and I am so not getting up with him at that time when I can get another hour in. *Grin*) and often during the day when I am not in the room.
We've gone back to the good ol' standy-bys of Clifford, etc. I have to admit that I'm glad to have the familiar voices back in the house and I'm glad that Kaylen is able to watch the good toddler shows - and that her brother is helping her learn by watching with her *and* asking her questions ("Which one is the blue on, sweetie? No - not that one. The other one. Right! You got it!"). Ah life with children, especially when you are parenting mostly alone. It's a challenge to say the least. :)
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