It's been a tough day. A really tough day. One of those days when the tears flow constantly and the questions and worries consume me. A day when the pain seems almost too much to bear for a second longer.
I have so much to say but as soon as I get a paragraph written I delete it. This is just such an incredibly personal thing and there are aspects to it which make it even worse than it otherwise might be. Not to say it wouldn't be terrible no matter what but there are some things that make the hurt downright unbearable.
Right now even something like disney world vacations just wouldn't bring a smile to my face.
Tomorrow after dinner Dakota will leave the house and except for a couple hours for dinner four times it will be 12 days before the kids have any real time with her. As a parent, I can't imagine anything being worth that.
Like I said, it's been a tough day.
6 comments:
Ok, so I'm one of the few that gained weight on the divorce diet. If nothing else, know that you are not alone. Many of us have been through this and survived and you will too. You are an incredibly strong woman and so are your kids. All of you have been without Dakota the last 4 years and you know how to do that. In fact you all thrived.... when the mourning of the relationship is over, you will all be very proud of yourselves. And it is not like Dakota died or anything, the kids will still have her in their lives as much as they want and as much as they are used to seeing her. It will get easier for all of you. Hang in there and know your friends are only a computer or phone call away.
Love and hugs to all...
Lynn
You can't imagine anything being worth that because your children are the most important thing to you, and that's a good thing. Knowing that you, and it seems to be you alone, are there for them is what will help them get through this change in their life. And if one parent is absent, they will remember that. As hard as it is and even if you don't feel like it, you are their rock. It's not a fun place to be and I know you wish there was someone that would share the burden, but you are strong and we all know that you can do this.
Even if D does not feel like she is walking out on them, there is a strong likelihood that THEY will feel that way. And they will remember that. I know that my sister and I do. It is only now as an adult that I am able to have a growing relationship with my mom, even though I still have no idea why she left my dad, even if I did spend time with her during "visitation". And my feelings toward my mom have nothing to do with what someone said about her, because no one ever said anything negative, or about anything I heard in the house, because I don't recall any fighting, it is all based upon the fact that she left the house and then had a relationship with someone else..
I know that this all sucks for you, if i didn't live on the east coast, i'd come get you for a night on the town...dancing and drinks, heck, why not!!!! You deserve to have fun...maybe when dakota comes to see the kids in 12 days...go out with some friends, or even by yourself....this is the time to have some fun!!!! 2010 can be a very positive year for you!
((casey))
I know of know words that will make any of this better, for which I'm very sorry. As Tanya said, you are your children's rock and they also will give you the reason and strength to get through this. Life will get better and I hope you feel better sooner rather than later. Sending prayers and hugs your way.
E
please, please, let us know that you are o.k., i'm worried about you.
Post a Comment