Kelton's Music Show

Tonight was a big night around our house. It was Kelton's music show at school and he has been working hard learning the songs for the past 8 weeks. There was no way I was going to miss his big night even though it would be my first outing since my surgery last week.

I took it easy all day - even falling asleep twice throughout the day. Once for an hour and then this afternoon I crashed hard for two hours. Both times were "accidental naps" which usually means my body really needed to shut down for a while.

I did manage to run and unload the dishwasher and also did two loads of laundry but that was the sum total of my "activities" for the day. Stephanie dropped by for a few minutes (which was waaaay too short!) this afternoon and brought by a couple needed grocery items (chocolate milk for Kaylen and Pepto Bismol for the puking dog).

When the kids arrived home, I took care of them and then settled on the couch to wait for Dakota to arrive to take over. Once she did, we all had dinner and then when grandma arrived, we headed over to the school. Please note: for the first day since surgery, I was pain pill free all day so I could be alert for the music show.

As it turned out, I should have taken pre workout supplements before leaving for the school. The parking lot was packed full so we ended up parking on a side street and walking over. Ummm........OUCH! Yeah...I was hurting. Sitting on the hard metal chairs? Not all that fun either. BUT...I was alert for my son's big event. That made it all worth it.

Kelton was so happy and so proud and I will admit that I had a big ol' happy tear slide out of my eye and down my check. My children make me so happy and I am so blessed to have them in my life. It's moments like tonight that make everything worth it. Everything.

After the show we went to McDonalds for our usual "celebration snack". The kids got the new frozen strawberry lemonade and french fries (usually it's milkshakes and french fies but they shook it up a bit tonight). We came home, said goodbye to grandma and I retreated to my room while Dakota spent time with the kids and got them settled for bed.

It was a nice evening but let me tell you, I was happy to have pain meds waiting for me at the end of it.

Kelton playing the trombone during one of the songs. (No, not really but it looked really cool!)
Isn't he amazingly handsome? :)

Yawn

Ok. I'm tired. As in "my eyes don't want to stay open for another moment" tired. Ugh. I don't like feeling this tired at 9:30 in the morning. I'm not a person who loves to take naps. I will, of course, but I don't love it because I feel like life is passing me by while I sleep.

I think I would rather be reading lipofuze reviews and writing a report on them rather than sleeping.

Everyone says to take it easy. Go slow. Rest. Logically, I know all that to be true but it's just not in my nature to be a slug. I have all these "To Do" swirling in my mind but my body? My body says "Umm yeah. Guess again."

Tonight is Kelton's music show at school tonight and I definitely want to be rested up for that. No way, no how am I missing that!

Growing Up So Quickly

The kids are growing up so quickly. Kelton has his first pair of Vans and Kaylen pined away, and then got, her first pair or Twinkle Toe Sketchers. Kelton is all about looking "tough" these days and has started mimicking the look of some of the "tough kids" at school. I am doing what I can to encourage this within the realm of not looking like a thug. :)

Where has the time gone? Seems like not that long ago I was looking at baby keepsake kits to memorialize their tiny hand prints or feet prints. And now? Now they are straining against my desire to keep them little for their desire to be big kids.

Like it or not, they are growing up. But oh how I love the people they are growing up to be!

Tuesday

I am 5 days post-op and I have to tell you, today is the first day have felt the smallest glimmer of being who I was six or seven days ago. Who knew a day surgery would take so much out of a person?

After checking in Thursday morning, I was informed that my surgery was moved up an hour so things moved quickly. Everyone was in and out of my room and my head was spinning just a bit. The anesthesiologist came in and she decided that a general was the route we should take instead of Versed (a lighter sleep) because of my allergies.

Gulp.

We all know general is harder to come back from. That wasn't in my game plan but then - what was? Was the car accident and the flare up that followed? Was the bad pap or the failed office biopsy? Nope. Clearly my game plan is a joke in the bigger scheme of things.

I wrapped my head around it quickly and off we went. Stephanie and I were complimented on how easy going we were and how much fun it was to have us as their first surgery family for the day. I can go one of two way in these types of situations; I can find the humor and roll with it or I can withdraw and stay in my shell. The staff were amazing and it was easy for my humor to come to play. I'm glad, too. It made it all the easier for all of us.

Next thing I knew, I was waking up in recovery. Sure, there were no fruit baskets Sharis Berries waiting for me but there was a shot of the good drugs to help bring the pain down. Maybe the fruit basket would follow. :)

I was moved back to my room where Stephanie was brought back in to hang out until my pain level was in the "acceptable" range of 0-2 and after I had eaten crackers, drank water and gone to the bathroom.

The doctor talked with Stephanie in the waiting room and told her what took place and she came into my recovery room and talked with me. She started it with "I doubt you will remember I was here so I've already talked with Stephanie and....."

They did the D&C and also removed a large polyp which she feels may be the reason for the hyperplasia cells on my pap. She sent everything to pathology but she feels confident that not that it's out, everything should be fine. If not, a hysterectomy will take care of it. One step at a time...and we will know for sure at my post-op.

Meanwhile, I am to take it easy and get back to life as my energy level and pain allows. The pain for the first three days was intense but yesterday I managed to get through the day with one pain pill and today? So far I haven't taken anything.

I like being more clear headed even if I am exhausted beyond all reason.

Stephanie stayed from Wednesday night to yesterday but then needed to get back to her life. The kids and I did fine on our own last night but I did go to bed at the same time they did and we all slept until 7am this morning. I got up, showered, dressed and go them out the door for school. I had a couple things I wanted to get done today but about 15 minutes after the bus left, I was drawn back to my bed.

And here I am.

Step by step. That's all I can do right now. Tomorrow I head back to PT for the accident injuries though at this point, I'd be hard pressed to tell which which pain is from which incident. My whole body hurts with a few areas way more sore than others.

But it won't always be like this and soon enough, I will be back to the daily grind of my life.

Frantic To Do List

The hours are counting down and for some reason I have this frantic need to accomplish a great deal in a short amount of time. Luckily, I have a ton of nervous energy to keep me going. Maybe it's the need to keep my brain thinking about other things. Maybe it's just because I am a tightly wound individual. (Ok the lot of you - keep your opinions to yourself. I know what you think. :) )

Today I have taken care of all the PTO things I can and have had to toss the rest into the air for everyone else to catch. There is a meeting tomorrow afternoon so you know there is a ton of stuff going through my head. Thankfully, I have a good group of people who are catching things and running with them. See, the year is winding down and there are so many different balls to juggle right now: yearbooks, cook book fundraiser, teacher reimbursements, deposits that need to go to the bank, field day, end of year party, etc. But for today, I have nothing more PTO related to deal with.

I then raced to the grocery store to stock the house with food for the kids and comfort food for me. I got everything home and put away and then I decided that there was no time like the present to wash everyone bedding and remake beds. And oh right - for some reason the need to change the batteries in the smoke detectors became urgent. Don't ask because I have no idea why.

I'm fighting the urge to put together lunches for the kids for tomorrow and Friday but seriously? I am absolutely sure that Dakota (on Thursday) and Stephanie (on Friday) will be able to handle it perfectly fine.

Type A, much? Why yes. Yes I am.

After getting beds under control and replacing the batteries on the smoke detectors, it was off for an hour of physical therapy. I have to tell you - I was a HUGE skeptic about PT as my two previous experiences with it were less than stellar but I have to say, I'm impressed. After three sessions (an hour each), I have almost full mobility in my neck back and my pain level has significantly decreased. They have been using ultrasound, electrical stimulus, massage and laser on my neck and I have gone from barely being able to turn to the right to being able to go the full normal range - and without a huge amount of pain. Who knew?!?! I'm actually looking forward to going back next week. Hopefully we can start working on my lower back.

After PT, I raced home and began working on the book order for the kindergarten teacher. As I was getting close to finishing, the kids arrived home (half day on Wednesdays) so I took care of them and returned to completing the Scholastic order.

Now they are out riding their bikes and I am keeping an eye and an ear on them while my mind whirls thinking about other things I need to get done before tomorrow.

Tomorrow? You can take your time getting here, thanks. :)

This Week

This week is a tough one emotionally. To kick it off, there was Mother's Day which I handled in stride until evening. The kids were with Dakota for the weekend so that was hard but the hardest part was remembering years gone by. When I lived near my family, and the older generations were alive, we all got together on Mother's Day to exchange cards. I had my first Mother's Day with my family.

The years that followed, Dakota and I would host a brunch. Her mom and step-dad would come and her sisters would drop in as time allowed. It was nice. But then - things changed and last year it was just the kids and me. This year, it was just Stephanie and I. We both missed our kiddos.

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. If I remember correctly, he is turning 73. I sent him a card but passed on finding cigars on sale to send as a gift. :)

The day after that marks the 4th anniversary of my mom's passing. The day after that is my surgery. And Friday? Who knows what fun that will bring. Hopefully there will be plenty of sleep in my day.

I'm feeling a bit frazzled. I have a lot to do and now I have physical therapy appointments to work around everything. I went today and then they want to see me tomorrow and Wednesday and then next week Wed, Thurs, and Fri. Hopefully I will be up to going next Wednesday though if I'm not, all I can to do is call and let them know.

For now though, the kids are in bed and I'm ready to take a muscle relaxer and head into dreamland. It would be great to get some good rest though when the house full of pets that I have, I'm not holding my breath.

Good night ya'll.

Too Much Paper

I was creating a file earlier today of all the papers relating to the car accident and I have to say, it's a lot. Perhaps I need a fancy document management software package to keep track of everything. The claim numbers, the insurance information from the person who hit me, the receipts for the medication I had to buy out of pocket, etc. It seems to go on and on and on.

For such a simple fender bender, it sure has morphed into more. The neurologist warned that getting jarred too hard would set off problems. I guess he knew what he was talking about. I wonder how it would have played had I not seen her coming at me. If I hadn't tensed up. If I hadn't been turned at a slight angle.

A million thoughts...including why was I right there then? A few minutes earlier or later would have avoided the whole thing.

The blink of an eye. A single heart beat. Everything changes. Again.

So, How Am I?

Well...let's say I'm not stellar right now. Physically, at least. Mentally and emotionally I am completely stellar. Ok - well, maybe not "stellar" since the physical interplays with those other two, but I'm still pretty good. It's the pain that has a grip on me right now.

I have to say, as much as I didn't want to believe this "flare up" would go full blown, it has and I am miserable. I've only had two other intense episodes like this: the first one was the one that sent me to the Emergency Room twice. And once was last year right about this time. Though honestly, I don't remember last year's episode being this bad. Maybe it's like labor where you just don't remember the intensity of the pain.

I have muscle relaxers which make me feel loopy. This morning I took one after I got the kids off to school and I swear to you; in less than 20 minutes I could barely stand being inside myself. And I know for sure I couldn't have said the words dlp lcd projectors let alone tell you when it is. (Truth be told, even without the medication I probably couldn't have told you.)

I just wanted to sleep. And I couldn't really do that because the muscle spasms in my back are firing right and left. It's so frustrating. If you have every been pregnant, imagine having the baby kicking you in the back over and over and over. It's kinda like that.

I start physical therapy on Monday and on Thursday I go in for my surgery. I tell you - life is overwhelming me a bit right now. So much going on and all I want to do it sleep through this episode and wake up when my pain level is back to its usual level.

The only good thing about the past 24 hours? I had a quart of Mocha Almond Fudge ice cream in the freezer that Stephanie brought over to me (Thanks, Stephanie!!!). And you know what? I ate the whole dang thing today. Oh yes I did.

They did, after all, recommend icing my injury and since my neck and entire back hurts, I decided the best route of cold would be from the inside out. At least, that's what I'm telling myself to ease my guilt over devouring the whole thing. :)

It Gets Better

POWERFUL.

Insurance and Pain

So.....I have been spending quality time with insurance companies the past few days. I have to say, it's going very well but it is still a lot of time as I talk with both my company and the other company.

The claims adjuster came out yesterday to look at my car. It isn't bad but it needs a bit of repair. The other company is picking up the tab plus a rental care for me.

As luck would have it (my luck, that is), I need a bit of tweeking as well. My sore areas seemed to have gone viral in the past 24 hours so it was off to the doctor I went. I hate to go to the doctor and feel guilty but last night the pain in my mid-back was intense (it's the hub of the syrinx) and wasn't being helped by Mortin and my arms kept falling asleep no matter what position they were in. Not good. Symptoms that are hallmark of my syrinx.

The diagnosis? The jolt, small though it may have been, seems to have triggered a flare up of my symptoms of the syringomyelia. Yeah. I kinda figured that out last night - well, probably Satuday if I were to be really honest with you. Damn.

I am being referred to physical therapy but they are needing to do research into my condition to know best how to treat the pain and muscle knots and nerve stuff. I was also given a shot of an anti-inflammatory (which really helped) as well as a few days of muscle relaxers.

I'm glad it's all covered by the insurance and I don't have to do anything that requires complex thinking like I would need to use to figure out Medicare part D plans. My head is definitely NOT in the game right now.

With my upcoming surgery, this is seriously one of the last things I wanted to have to deal with. But deal with it all I must. At least the insurance companies are making it easy for me. But still - I have guilt that I even needed to go to the doctor. I can't tell you for sure that I wouldn't have had a flare up if it weren't for the accident. I can't tell you that I would have. Did I have this kind of pain before Friday? No. Ergo: probably caused by the jolt. That's all anyone can really guess. And yet - I feel bad for being in pain. *sigh*

Just another ball to add to my very busy juggling act. *sigh*

T minus 8 Days....

...and counting.

My surgery is quickly approaching and I am finding it harder and harder to keep thoughts from surfacing in my head. Words swirl around. Words like "hyperplasia", "biopsy", "D&C", "pain"...and I can't help but slide into the dark side at times. I want it over....and I want it all to be fine.

In the meantime.....maybe you should all do a little shopping in the online flower shop and see if there isn't a little "get well" surprise you could send. Presents always help. :)

Kidding. I'm kidding people.

Or am I? Hee hee. :)

Back off girls......she is pretty clear that Sam is hers!

My daughter is in love. Or so she thinks. :) Sam has been her boyfriend choice all school year and it matters not that his family moved away around Thanksgiving. She still talks about him and dreams of getting married to him. I'm surprised she isn't out looking at Antigua jewelry yet. :)

The good part in this is because she already has a boyfriend (do you have any idea how hard it was to type that sentence?) she scoffs when the girls at school ask why she doesn't find someone else. "Because!" she says all indignant, "I already HAVE Sam!"

As far as future son-in-laws go, Sam is an awesome candidate. I hope she always has such good taste.

The Weekend - part one

If you live in my area, then you are all too aware that we had a taste of summer this weekend. And if you live in my body, you know that the sunscreen should have been brought out of the cabinet. Ouch!

Let's just say that when you are a pasty white girl like me, sunscreen and shade are a must on sunny days. But, if you are a Pacific Northwesterner, then you know that when the sun shines, you don't waste a single second. You get out there and try to get the moss growing on you to dry up and flake off.

I kid you not. The moss on everything is thick and bouncy from our overly wet winter and a warm, sunny day was greatly appreciated.

Saturday was a nice day so we all were outside for a while in the morning and again in the late afternoon. The middle of the day found Stephanie, her mom, the kids and I sitting in a theater watching Hoodwinked Too. A very fun movie, in case you are wondering. Neither Kaylen nor I were looking forward to it but we both ended up enjoying it.

That evening, we hung out in the front yard and had a great time. The kids rolled down the lawn and giggled ridiculously hard and then Kelton remembered something that kids had done to us last year. One kid stands on one side of the street and another kid is directly across. They pretend they are holding a rope and tugging it across the road. Drivers, not knowing if they are going to run into something, slow down as they pass. The kids would bust up laughing...and so would the drivers and passengers. The kids received thumbs up and laughter from every person who fell prey to their prank. They were in seventh heaven and the moms laughed and laughed.

I love the simple fun with kids. I'm searching for ways to have more simple fun like rolling down hills and tossing shoes into trees only to toss more shoes up to free the stuck ones. Who says you need fancy things like english horse tack or the like to have a good time? More and more I am finding it is just the simple play the way I used to play as a child which brings the kids the most joy.

It was a great day and we all fell into bed happy and tired.

Backing It Up

So....in an effort to distract myself from the news I thought I would write some blog postings that focus on my own reality. So...let's back up to Friday. Oh Friday...it was a day that was chalked full of things to get done and be done and while I was out and about something not so great happened: I was rear ended.

I was working my way through a construction zone and they moved everyone from three lanes down to two. It was chaos and no one was moving at that fast of a pace. Thankfully. I was in the inside lane and stopped when I looked up in time to see a car getting closer and closer and closer.

Crud. This car was not going to stop in time.

BAM.

Yeah. She ran smack into me. Traffic was still stopped so I tossed it into park and jumped out to ask if she would mind going to a side street and pulling over there to exchange information. I felt so bad for her! She looked at me with big, scared eyes and said "I am so sorry! I was trying to figure out what the lanes were doing and I didn't stop in time."

We went up to the next light and turned onto a quieter street. I grabbed my information while she grabbed hers. My adrenaline was going full tilt. I checked out the back of my car (it's an SUV so it sits higher than her car did) and I would be hard pressed to tell you I had been hit. I turned and looked at the front of her car.

Oh my gosh! Her bumper was destroyed and her hood sat at an odd angle. I felt horrible for her! We exchanged info and made sure we were both physical ok (though with that much adrenaline it would be hard to know for sure for a while). She asked if I knew where a body shop was and I pointed out the street where I knew there was one. I was very, very close to home so I just drove home not having a clue what I should do next.

When I got home, I called my insurance company and reported the claim. They would send someone out to assess the damage (which I told them was practically non-existent to the eye. A few scuff marks where she slid under). The claims rep asked if I had injuries. "I don't think so," I said "but I'm running on pure adrenaline right now."

She told me that if I developed problems that I didn't need to use NC Blue Cross Blue Shield or my own medical insurance. Just go to a medical facility and have them bill me and submit it through the auto claim.

As the hours ticked by and I settled down, I noticed some stiffness and pain in my upper back but nothing that seemed worthy of going to the doctor. As the days have gone by, it still isn't bad and mostly goes un-noticed. I'm not one to run to the doctor so I am opting to skip it. I'm pretty sure a tad bit more back pain would be hard to discern anyway and she wasn't going that fast. I've had bigger jolts from kids flying off the couch and landing on me. :)

Today the claims adjuster came out and photographed the "damage". He recommends having the bumper smoothed out and repainted. He will send me their information tomorrow. While I was waiting for my guy to arrive, the other insurance company called to talk with me. Looks like I will file through the other company to avoid paying my deductible but I have to tell you, I feel guilty. It's really not that bad. And it's *nothing* when compared to the other car.

Just another reason I don't ever want to have a regular car. Too close to the ground and I'm pretty sure the damage would have been worse and I probably would have gotten jarred much, much worse. So for me, with my crappy back, I'm thinking a higher riding vehicle is the way to go.

I'm just glad nothing worse happened to me....or to the other driver.

Struggling

"When we lose the sadness part -- when all we do is happily scream "USA! USA! USA!” at news of yet more killing in a now unending back-and-forth war -- it’s a sign we may be inadvertently letting the monsters win."

I took this from a very well written posting from www.salon.com and I have to say, it sums up many of my thoughts on what is happening in the world right now. All the rejoicing and celebrating is just so wrong. It makes us no better - and damnit, I want to be better than dancing in the streets celebrating violence and death and murder.

The overwhelming age group I see celebrating? The 20-somethings. The people who were small children on that horrible September day. Do they even realize what they are doing? They have grown up seeing the street celebrations in other countries and maybe they think it's the right way to act....to behave. I just don't know.

I have really been struggling since I heard the news last night, and watched the coverage for the thirty minutes that I could take before my stress and anxiety levels shot through the roof. Today, the radio is full of the songs that were written right after 9/11. It all takes me right back in time and I feel no happiness or joy. Just anxiety and fear of what's to come. What's next?

These are the same "kick in the gut" feelings I had on 9/11 and in the months following that horrific day. Now what? Oh dear God...now what?

You all know as well as I do that this isn't the event to change it all. You should know, as I do, that there are plenty of others who had already taken, and will continue to take, the reigns on terror. Is this a step? Yes. Of course. A baby step. That's all there will ever be are baby steps in the war against terror. Teeny tiny baby steps.

So what now? What happens next?

I'm holding my breath and trying not to fall into the abyss of my own fear.

Google Away

What the heck is HGH? Apparently it's a supplement that assists in anti-aging. Clearly, I don't know anything about them so it's great that there are websites that provide reviews on things such as hgh.

I have to say, I'm a bit of an information hound so google is my friend. When I hear something that I need or want to know about, I google. When I want side my side comparisons? I google. A new word I'm not 100 sure about? I google.

I'm sure I'm not alone in this. If I were, I doubt smart phones would be equipped with search engines. :)

So when I hear about something like hgh, you can bet I'm going to search for it on my handy dandy hand held device. :)

Apple Bottoms

Maybe it's just me but I have never heard of apple bottoms. Have you? I clicked on it and it looks like it is clothing aimed at specific body types.

I guess that makes sense. I know of pear shape, apple shape, etc. I just didn't realize that clothing lines were marketed specifically at body shapes. Interesting.

I need a clothing line that is marketed at my body shape. Short with a tummy. Trust me....there are precious few options out there. :)

Big News Night

The news is everywhere. Bin Laden has been killed. It is on every television station tonight and to be honest? Right about now I'm wishing there was something as mindless and non-chaos creating as an infomercial about ab cuts reviews.

The stress I have goes up with every minute that passes - and every click of the channel changer. The news is everywhere. My Facebook newsfeed is overflowing. Some people thrilled by the news others, like me, apprehensive. What does it mean? In the long run what does this mean?

He was not the ONLY one involved in the horror of 9-11. Having him dead isn't going to change the terror happening all over the world and has the very real possibility to increase terror activity for a while.

So what does this all mean?

I can't celebrate. I am relieved, of course, but I can't celebrate. First and foremost, celebrating the death of any human being going against my moral fiber. I will not celebrate his murder. Am I relieved he is gone and cannot further fuel terror from his seat of power? YES! But I am not blind enough to think that this is the end of anything.

I just hope and pray it doesn't fuel more terror on US soil. Or anywhere. But again, I am not blind enough to think my hope and prayer is enough to keep us all safe.

God bless us all. No one knows what this historic event will bring.

The River

Saturday was a beautiful day so it was only natural that Stephanie and I headed to our favorite place; we just call it "the river". We walked and talked for a nice long time before heading back to reality. The sun was so warm that I had to shed my lightweight jacket which, I do believe, was the first time I've had one just a t-shirt since early last fall. It was a taste of summer....and a perfect day.











The summer weather? It seems to have gone on vacation again as rain is in the forecast this week. I am definitely ready for some warmer, dry days.

Sleep?

Sleep? What's that?

After an amazing seven hours of sleep In. A. Row. Monday night, I logged in about three last night. I have no idea why.

I was sleepy at 10:15 when I said good night to Stephanie and hung up the phone. Then I laid there for a few minutes and decided that my brain just wasn't ready to shut off. The season finale of Parenthood was on (and recording to the DVR) so I flipped it on and watched it. At 11:15, I shut off the light and closed my eyes. I waited for sleep.

And waited.

And waited.

I opened my eyes. 12:30. Hmmmmmmm.

I heard a thud so I went in to the kids room to investigate. Poor little disoriented Kaylen was sitting on the floor next to her bed. I picked her up and put her back in bed. She was out cold before I could cover her up and kiss her head.

I went to the bathroom...and then back to my bed.

1:00.......1:30......WHY AM I STILL AWAKE????.....2:30...Oops. I think I fell asleep for half an hour....3:10........ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? In toddles Kaylen to snuggle with me.

The next thing I heard was Jordan getting up. It was 5:30. I got up and let him out. Twice. Because, you know, he couldn't possibly pee *and* poop in the same trip outside.

I told him to go back to bed. Yeah. Not. I got up at 6 and fed him. I poured of a cup of coffee and surrendered to the day ahead.

Eh. Sleep is for sissies anyway.

(It's early release day. Think the kids will let me sneak in a nap this afternoon? Yeah. I didn't think so either. *sigh*)

Spot on Article

I cannot stress it enough: Parents, stop buying the hoochie mama clothes for your daughters. There isn't an 8 year old (or 10 or 12 year old) alive who *needs* sexy clothing (and this is a million times true for the 4 and 6 year olds too!).

This article is perfect! I'll leave you to your reading. :)

Energy? What's that?

Ugh. My energy level this afternoon took a HUGE nose dive. I have a raspy voice and I'm not feeling all that sharp. I mowed the lawn today and it took more out of me than I would like to admit to. In addition, I did get all those things done that I need to do on any given day plus I processed the PTO yearbook orders and got the deposit ready to go to the bank tomorrow. Heck - I even scheduled an appointment to get my oil changed in my car( a tad bit over due *whistling innocently*). I even gave thought to getting a haircut tomorrow. Notice I said "gave thought to". I haven't done anything about it yet. I just don't have the energy.

I kinda, sorta, in a way made dinner for the kids. Easy Mac for the girl child and french toast sticks for the boy child. Nothing for me, thanks. I'm not hungry. Mostly I just want to change into a pair of ultra comfy yoga pants and crawl into my bed and veg.

Think anyone will notice if I do? Yeah - my guess is no. They are both heavily engrossed in watching High School Musical 2 on Netflix. I think I'll make my escape. :)

Kelton's 9th Birthday Party

Saturday, Dakota's family was over to celebrate Kelton's 9th birtday. Due to a series of events, many of the family members where unable to attend so Kelton asked if he could invite a friend of his and her little sister (Eden and Maissa). He was told that he could (the kids don't usually have "friend" parties as the families on both side are big enough). So - after the house was clean, the kids and I set about to decorating and getting ready. The theme this year? Star Wars, of course. :) I think it's fair to say he had a great party!

Photo Booth Fun

Because I couldn't resist. :)

A good read

An essay on divorce. Very well written....and heartfelt. Thanks to Elise for posting it on her blog. :)

Birthday Boy!

Today is my son's birthday. Yes indeed...somehow (what seems like overnight) Kelton is turning nine years old. He hasn't yet, as he will tell you, because his birth time is 12:10pm. :) I remember clearly his first birthday. I was driving him home from playgroup when the clock in my car flipped over to 12:10pm. I was sad and happy at the same time and I will admit that those feelings are the exact same ones I have every year. I'm happy for him...I'm happy for me. We made it through another year healthy and happy and whole. I'm sad because with each marked year, my baby is growing up and moving, step by step, away from me. When he was learning to walk he held onto the handle of his push dump truck and toddled away from me. I remember that moment as clear as if it happened 10 seconds ago. I remember thinking "Now that he is walking, his steps will take him further and further from me." Bittersweet moments. Parenthood is full of them. I am been so blessed to have been here for each and every one of his milestones. I didn't miss one......well ok - rolling over for the first time I missed because Dakota and I were working on a bathroom project and he was on the floor. We had been listening to him coo happily from the other room. Next thing we heard was a very muffled baby coo. We ran in to see him and he was on his tummy. For fun, we flipped him over and watched him turn again. We did this for almost an hour - until he protested because he was tired of entertaining us. I think back over those days and I just can't believe how fast they have gone. Nine. My baby has been in my arms for NINE years. We are in the last of the single digits and I am finding I really, really want this year to move slowly. I'm not ready for him to be so big. But then, I probably never will be. Happy Birthday, Kelton! I love you more than anything and you, my curly headed amazing child, are my miracle!

Fashionista - yet again

I only take photos of the *really* good ones because well....I'd have to post a photo almost every day. Sure- there are days everything matches but these are the days that make it hard for a borderline OCD-er like myself to smile and say "You look GREAT!" (I do say it though...it's good for her to express herself. For all I know, she will become a fashion designer as an adult. After all, if you Google Little MisMatched you will find a store that sells outfits much like the ones Kaylen creates herself.)

I know some people cringe at the thought of letting their child out the door in self-created outfits but I learned a long time ago that clothing was not a battle I wanted to fight with Kaylen. Who cares what she wears as long as she is dressed and not looking like a hooker. :) (No offense to hookers. I just am not ready to see my child dressed as one.) Life is too short to fight over clothes. She wears what she likes and I'm good with that. And besides...it makes great blog-fodder. :)

PS....Thanks for all the feedback on cub scouts. Who knew it was such a hot button topic both here and on Facebook. I do know about their political/religious stance and I agree with the person who said that we can all stand on the sideline gritching about it and staying away from it or we can move forward for the sake of our sons and CHANGE IT. One person, one child, one pack at a time. Or...for those of you who feel super strongly about it, how about coming up with a boys only alternative?

My son needs strong male role models. He is struggling hard to find his place in a world that is dominated by women. I need to support him and guide him. Anyway....I have a lot to think about. Kelton isn't wanting to go back to cub scouts (they played a board game last night and he wanted to "do something". I can't blame him there. I asked that he talk with the two boys in his class who are in the group and see what they usually do. I also asked him to think about going to the next meeting just to be sure. I want him to be sure it isn't for him because the truth is, I will suck it up and do what I need to do for him. And I know Dakota would do the same....which is probably how this will play out if he wants to go. I think she would be a great cub scout mom! :)

Ok - back to job hunting before I head off to meet Dakota's mom for lunch and then to pick up Kelton and take him to a doctor's appointment then I head back to school grab PTO stuff and pick up Kaylen. Busy day for me.....but then, days are always busy. Can you believe this this is the week when my baby boy turns NINE?!?!?!?! I am in complete denial. Wow. The last of the single digit years.

Sometimes......

....I just have nothing to say. These are one of those times. I'm busy living life and find that when I have a few minutes, blogging isn't one of those things that are on the top of the list....you know, the top of the list is reserved for fun things like laundry and scooping the yard. What? I know you're jealous of my ultra-glamorous life. :)

Spring break has come and gone. The kids and I were in Seattle with my family for the first weekend of it and then we were home - hanging out and enjoying life (and no alarm clock!) for the week. It was great and I have to say, I was sad to see it end. We did nothing of any significance but I find that is a good way to get a break from the routine of life.

This weekend the kids were with Dakota which meant I had time to spend with my bestest chica, Cande and time for spending with Stephanie. It was perfect. Friday night Cande and I went to The Olive Garden for dinner and drinks and I am just going to say it now: The Olive Garden is way, way, way too expensive for what it is. Good food, good drink but the cost was just too darn high. Next time we go back to our regular "food and drink for less" places. It was an experience though, so that was good.

After dinner, we came back to my house, met up with Stephanie and watched The Switch which was a decent way to spend two hours. Cute movie, that's for sure. By then it was late and we all were tired. So much for partying hard. :)

The rest of the weekend was spent with Stephanie just hanging out and spending time together. We ventured down to Clackamas for a few hours and over to Stephanie's house for a few more but other than that, we just hung out together. It was PERFECT.

Today was back to reality. This evening I took Kelton to his first ever Cub Scout meeting and I am just going to say, I might be a bad parent but I really hope he doesn't like it. It is sounding like a HUGE time commitment for *me* which is not what I was looking for at all. I am required to stay through the meetings and there are three a month (!). This means that Kaylen is required to stay as well. The meetings are in the evening and none of the three of us have a lot of energy or patience in the evenings. I would be required to go on the camping trips and day hikes. I am NOT a camping or day hike person. I can already feel my body protesting from sitting on the hard gym floor for an hour. You think it's going to like camping on the ground? Hiking for three miles when my back makes it incredibly painful to walk the length of the mall and back?

That said - I will, of course, suck it up for my child but I really, really don't want to. And next year Kaylen wants to join Girl Scouts. You can just shoot me now.

Seriously.

In my day (HA!), parents dropped a child off at their group meeting and high-tailed it out of there, returning to pick up an hour later. Today parents are expected to stay and be involved in all levels. Including, but not limited to, fund raising.

Here's the thing - I am already feeling over extended with the PTO and my commitments to the school...which benefit my children. I cannot even begin to comprehend taking on more. The thought of it makes me want to hurl. I haven't even talked about the money aspect. I can't begin to wrap my head around that one yet.

Oy. I think I need to go to bed soon. I've had all I can take today and I'm working on only about three hours of sleep between a boy-child who was up twice for an hour last night and the dogs who needed out twice and them started bugging me for food at 5:30am. Did I mention (ever) that it takes me a long time to fall back to sleep after being awakened? It's like water torture for me some night. Time to get the kids to bed and then I'm off to dreamland myself. 'Night Blogland.

Because I Know You Can't Get Enough.....

....of reading about my girly parts. :)

I called the doctor's office a bit ago and spoke with my "specialist". I think I love her. She said that they had gotten their copy of the letter yesterday as well and that my doctor was on the phone immediately to let them know how "non-negotiable" this is. At least, part of it. The biggest part, for me. The D&C biopsy.

The insurance company relented and approved the D&C biopsy surgery party but the ablation part is still up in the air. I can live with that. I've lived this long fearing I am going to hemorrhage to death every month....what's a few more years before menopause hits? Before last month, I didn't even know ablation was an option.

My doctor will call me later today to discuss options and what to do about the ablation part but can I just say how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE that she immediately called the insurance company and said the biopsy part is happening and they are going to approve it? LOVE HER! Not many people have gone to bat for me in my life like that so this is a big deal to me. I saw that denial letter as the kiss-off and the "Sorry. Deal with it." that my life is.

Could the tides be turning? It feels like they are.....finally. I must be living life right these days. :)

I can't believe I am this happy about having surgery. :) But....considering the "in office" disaster, I think anyone would be happy to sleep through it. :)

How Much Pain is "Medically Conservative"?

So. I picked up the mail when I arrived home last night and there was a letter from my insurance company denying my scheduled surgery for the biopsy and ablation. Apparently, the procedure is not "medically conservative" enough for their liking and therefore, they will be approve. I may, of course, proceed with the procedure at my own expense.

Ummm.....yeah. I'll just whip out the ol' checkbook and write a check.

Though seriously, if I could get the surgery at the same cost the insurance company would pay instead of, you know, twenty times more the cost, I might consider it. I could pay it off over time - a lot of time - but I could. (And can someone PLEASE explain to me why medical costs, if you have no insurance, is so damn high? Kaylen's ER bill arrived and it was just under $2000. They cut it down to $300(something) because she has insurance and then billed me $75 for the co-pay (which the secondary insurance picked up). So....a $2000 bill for no insurance was magically transformed to $300 total when there was insurance (of which they were only billed $225. WTF, people? W.T.F?!?!?!)

Today I will call the office to see what my options are. Can they resubmit for the retry at the biopsy in the OR since the office one failed epic-ly? Or do I have no choice but to go through that incredibly painful experience again? (Any guesses? You have been following my life for a while now. Which one do you think it will be? I already know.......*sigh* What's more pain, right? I already live in a constant state of level 4-6 pain, so why not add a bunch more (after all, it's only short term....3-5 days) without benefit of pain meds or anesthesia. Short term or not - adding more pain increases my overall pain load and well.....it's just no damn fun.)

I'm pissed. My doctor and I talked about the options. She and I decided the best course of action but my insurance company says "Oh we don't think so. Well...it probably IS the best course for you but we don't want to pay for it. It's not "medically conservative" enough for our liking so if you would, please try all these other ways which, in the end will cost us more than this one would and use a whole lot of your time and then...then if you are still dealing with it down the road, we'll talk. Chances are *fairly* good it's not cancer.....here's hoping!" *clink* *wink*

I tried the "medically conservative" approach. My body didn't cooperative. Not really my fault it failed since I have no control over my cervix (but let's leave me with the feeling it *is* my fault). Let's try it at least 4 more times, ok? Because it's oh so much fun to have equipment shoved inside of you. The searing pain that made me push back into table until I thought I would push through it and down to the floor? Not a good enough reason to grant me a different route.

Insurance is awesome. I'm so glad they know what is best for me. Next time I'm sick, I'll just call them and ask them what I should do...they seem to have all the answers.

So. Not. Fair.

Can I win the lottery now?

Blood Oranges

Let's talk fruit baskets, shall we? The kids and I were up north this weekend visiting family and celebrating both their birthdays along with their cousin, Mikayla, and for the first night we stayed with my brother and sister-in-law. They have this great local farm who delivers fresh fruits and veggies right to their door. In the shipment of these delectable items, there were some blood oranges. Now I clearly am not a fruit connoisseur because I had never heard of blood oranges but let me tell you - I am a HUGE fan now. Not for me (I think they were a bit tart for my liking) but for Kelton.

The boy ate so many I thought he would turn into a blood orange! He could not get enough.

Sadly, I can't seem to find them right now. I tried Fred Meyer, a fruit market and Safeway and so far, they aren't there. The fruit market worker said they were just starting to come into season and they would have them soon. I'm hoping that's true because I don't want him to forget how much he loved them. They are so good for him and getting fresh fruit and veggies into the kids is a challenge unto itself. :)

Sharing a Blog Post

I have a friend, Jen, who rocks. She has four kiddos and a wit that will not stop. Her blog, in many ways, echos my experience with parenting, school, anxiety, etc. and helps me feel well.....less alone and crazy. I *get* what she writes.

Like this one from today.

A brief snip it....

"I had an epiphany recently, brought on by a combination of Miss A's bewilderment over a former friend ignoring her now, P's goldfish longing and subsequent grief, and Miss A's wild hope that the Tooth Fairy will spirit her away to Neverland. Their hopes make me heartsick with the fear (or knowledge) that they'll go unrealized, and the discomfort -- both emotional and physical -- is so great that I want to rip the dressing off the wound and have it over with. The Tooth Fairy? A lie! Your pet fish? A goner! Your friend? She doesn't think you're cool enough! Now let's move on, to more solid ground where your pain doesn't threaten to swallow me up at every turn.

I get that. "Their hope makes me heartsick with the fear (or knowledge) that they'll go unrealized, and the discomfort -- both emotional and physical -- is so great.."

*sigh*

Read the whole post. You won't be sorry. And Jen? I love ya, babe. I love your honesty and your emotion...and I love that I have known you for over 9 years now and get to call you "friend" even though you live far, far away and we have never met face to face. Remember those days on Storknet? Your perfect maternity pants? You kept me entertained our entire pregnancies. YOU ROCK!

Catching You Up

So.....the biopsy. To say it didn't go well is an understatement. The cell and tissue samples needed to be taken from my uterus so the doctor needed to be able to get inside and well.....my cervix was completely against that idea. As it turns out, you have no control over making a cervix behave. :)

The doctor used her first line of defense, then a clamp to straighten it out to give her a better shot....then dilator rods. All to no avail unless extreme pain is your goal. It was NOT mine but I got it anyway.

The doctor broke the news. The biopsy would have to be done another way.

After talking, talking more, and then a nice long phone chat with the doctor, I have decided to go the OR route. So, surgery has been scheduled and the biopsy and endometrial ablation will be done at that time.

Depending on the results of the biopsy I'm either good until the next go around or it's back to the OR. Time will tell.

So - that's what is up with me.

Droid, Anyone?

I have a Verizon Droid that I am trying to off-load. It's been reset to factory settings and it's a good phone. I used it for seven months however I o longer have Verizon and, as you may or may not know, Verizon phones are network specific.

It comes with charger cord AND docking station (which totally rocks).

Anyone interested?

Feeling Like Superwoman!

I am feeling *very* proud of myself. I know some of you will roll your eyes and that's ok. Some of you don't have the medical issues/physical limitations I do and what I accomplished would be a no big deal for you whereas it's a HUGE deal for me. HUGE.

I mowed the lawn.

Front and Back.

For the first time EVER.

I'm not going to say it was a piece of cake because it wasn't. It was hard and somewhat painful but I did it. I DID IT!

I'm trying not to focus on how my body is screaming at me right this second because I am pretty happy with myself.

And this? This is the reason I do the things I do and take on challenges that must be taken on. My kids. My beautiful, amazing kids.

My Bed

If you know me in real life, then you know I have an affinity for my bed. My amazingly wonderful fluffy and dreamy bed. I have a feather mattress cover, a feather mattress pad that goes on top of the feathers and a really great feather comforter. The pillows? Amazingly comfy.

I created my dream bed over a year ago and I have not spend one single second being sorry I did. When life gets to be too much, you can find me under my covers. In the evenings I will happily crawl in and watch TV surrounded by my fluffy softness.

I am a BIG believer in making your bed and your bedroom into an oasis of comfort. A place to retreat. A place to enjoy. I cannot stress it enough: bedrooms should be your safe spot.

So if yours isn't your safe place, do something easy and inexpensive to start making it so. Maybe go to Fine Linens and look at their matouk line. Not only do they have bedding but they have bathroom towels and whatnot. Seriously - it's truly life changing how good linens can enhance your life.

They don't have to cost a lot. WalMart, Target, Fred Meyer...all good places to purchase bedding. You can do what I did; one piece at a time so that it doesn't impact your budget too much.

Making my room my safe place is one of the best thing I ever did for myself. Ever.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is a big day for me. Sure, I've had bigger days and yes, I know I'm not the only person in the world to go through this but it's still a big deal to me.

Thanks to a bad pap, I have to have a biopsy. I am absolutely not looking forward to it. I hemmed and hawed about going public with this and I decided to just throw it out there. I've kept it a secret for weeks while I waited for the appointment date to grow closer. It is close and I know this because I received my confirmation phone call from the doctor's office just a few minutes ago. Ugh. Reality smacked up against denial in a big way.

I have done a great job of keeping it off the front burner for weeks now. I have tried not to focus on it because there is nothing I can do about it. Worrying wasn't going to change anything. Two days ago it hit me that it was "almost time" and I admit I started to stress out and spin. Today I am completely bouncing off the walls. I can't focus. *sigh*

I would so much rather be going to the doctor to discuss how to get rid of whiteheads. Seriously.

The message in all this is GET YOUR PAPS! I hadn't had one in two years because that was the recommendation of Kaiser when I was with them. I wonder if something would have shown up last year. Has something been going amiss for a while now? Is it all a fluke? A warped result which will turn out to be just fine? I hope and pray for the error answer.

The plus side to all this is I know will be having yearly paps no matter what the "current recommendations" of what ever medical system I am part of. Not that I look forward to paps but I DO look forward to a long, healthy life and so paps are part of the deal.

So if you are overdue for your pap - go get one. It's 5 minutes of uncomfortable embarrassment that is well worth it.

Go call your doctor. I'll be here when you get back. :)

Rocking the To Do Lists

I have things to do today and yet here I am - blogging. I'll get my To Do list done though because that's what I do. Every night, when I crawl into bed I can honestly say that I have done everything I needed to do in any given day. I'm a list person. Mental or physical, the list is checked off each and every day. Hmmm...OCD much, Case? :) Yeah sorta BUT I can close my eyes knowing I did what needed to be done. To me, it's worth the stress most of the time.

Sure - some days it means I am sending off resumes at 10pm but no one says I have to job hunt at 9AM, right? :) The glory of the Internet is that things are open 24/7. I can apply for jobs, I can print of coupons, heck....I can even shop in the middle of the night. Now if you are, say, looking for attorney tucson you could Google and research but you couldn't really make contact until business hours but still...the flexibility of the Internet ROCKS. Thankfully, contacting an attorney is NOT on my To Do list. :)

What is on my list besides the never job hunting? A haircut. I need one in a big way. So does Kaylen but we'll have to see how today plays out. It might be that I ask Dakota to take her this weekend.

Also on my list is picking up a birthday gift for my great niece. That one is pretty easy - she is turning 10 so make up and hair accessories are the order of the day.

I best get moving. Time is ticking.

Nickelback - If Today Was Your last Day

I've taken a shine to Nickelback lately. Truth be told, a lot of their stuff isn't "me" but there are some that really speak to me. This is one of them. The message is awesome.

What would you do if today was your last day? It is something I am trying to be cognizant of each and every day. Living my best life.

"Each days a gift and not a given right." "Against the grain should be a way of life."
Amen.



To see the official video (which for some reason I cannot embed), go here.

My Someone Special

Absolutely, positively, no doubt about it. Happy Happy Happy.

And my other "someone(s) special":



Life is gooooooooooooood! :)

Nickelback: I'd Come For You

I love this song.

Holding Hands

There is nothing like holding hands.

Simple intimacy.

Amazing.

Monday

Another weekend has come and gone and I will tell you that it was an amazing and wonderful few days. I had the house/pet sitter stay here and I had a much needed break from the dogs and honestly, I need to remember to do that more often. Sure, the kids aren't here every other weekend but the animals are and they are equally demanding and I get precious little solid blocks of sleep. Time away from the house was just what I needed.

I am seeing someone who is very special to me so I packed up and went out to stay with her for the weekend. She lives in the country so it's very peaceful and since it's darn close to spring the frogs are loud and amazing. From inside the house I could hear the frogs making their froggy noises all night long. The wind in the trees and the pouring rain where just the icing on the cake. Perfect! Did I mention that a break from my own life was just what I needed? It really, really was.

We spent the weekend hanging out and talking. A windstorm took out the power yesterday which was great. No, really. It was. I actually enjoy power outages as long as they don't last too long but you have to admit, they shake up life and get you thinking of new things to do and ways to heat coffee and meals.

It was hard to come home last night but I felt refreshed and invigorated an ready to once again tackle the world.....and all the dog-induced sleep interruptions.

Life is good.

Rascal Flatts "I Won't Let Go" LIVE (at iheartradio)

Dreaming

I often look around my kitchen and start dreaming of things I would do if I were to win one of those "kitchen makeover" contests (yes, I realize I would have to enter one before I can win but just go with me on this....I like to dream.), I'd restructure the entire kitchen area and definitely put in new cabinets with brush nickel cabinet hardware. I usually lean towards white cabinets but of course, now darker wood is coming back into style. (Of course!)

If I went with white it would trigger a massive need to make over doors, window casings and moulding throughout the house because it would just look silly. So perhaps a darker wood is the best move.

Not like it matters because this is all just dreaming but still - what is life without dreams?

Conversations With My 13 Year Old Self lyrics

Back in the Saddle

The Book Fair is over and done and I think it is fair (HA!) to say that we rocked it! We surpassed the last two years totals and earned over $4500 to buy books and teaching materials for the school! I've only been doing book fair for three years now and I know that my first year we surpassed all of the previous years so I'm just going to toot my own horn and say "I freakin' ROCK!" :) What a modest little thing I am. :)

I'm really proud of those of us who stood side by side every single day all week. Jeremy, my true cohort, took the entire week off to be there (Thanks Jeremy!) and the best volunteer we have, Scott, took off four of the five days and even then came in for the evening event to help after working a ten hour day. Now that is some serious dedication.

The week was a good one though on a personal level it also was a bit nutty. The drama went full tilt but I refused to engage in any of the attention seeking tactics that were employed. All I could do was roll my eyes and think to myself "A 12 year old is way more mature." which really only solidified my belief that breaking up was the best thing I could have done for myself...and I wish I had done it cleanly back in November when I really wanted to. No longer will I stay in something to avoid hurting someones feelings because hurting them early or late, it still hurts. I'm not sure why she thinks acting like she is is winning her any points with anyone. I wish she could see what other people are seeing because sadly, it is really quite pathetic. I know she is hurt and I am sorry about that but really? The proof is in the pudding and I wish I had paid attention to the warning bells before I did.

I truly wish her the best but more importantly than that, I hope she finds some mental stability soon. Games won't work on me - or anyone else. Time to move forward without regret. And I don't have regrets beyond I am sorry she is hurting...and that she is hurting other people in the process. And again, the tactics being employed all around only makes me more sure I did the right thing.

The kids are doing great. Kaylen is attending her full days without me there at all. She is handling substitute teachers with relative ease and is really coming into her own. I've had people remark about what an amazing and independent child she is. Now THIS is the child I know! I still do drop off and pick up but I am all too happy to do it while I can. I did the same for Kelton's entire kindergarten year and it is absolutely not an issue with me. I'm happy to do it. And I am beyond thrilled that she is thriving!

Kelton finally has a long term sub in one of his classes (he has two teachers) and is settling down into a nice routine. His regular teacher is having medical issues and has been out most of the year thus far and will remain out for a longer time. The kids were suffering through a different sub every few days until late January and, needless to say, the entire class was out of control. Now there is order and he is back to thriving.

The animals are doing well. Little Zipster is almost 6 months old and tomorrow I will be taking him in to be neutered. He is a little spit fire and I wish we had never brought him home (truth is, there are lots and lots of days I would gladly exchange him for one of several ed hardy ladies' watches) but the kids love him so here he will stay...and I pray he settles down. Dallas and Andi put up with him - grudgingly but Maddie and Zip have a love affair going on. The two of them can play for a long time together which is a good outlet for both boxer and kitten. Jordan is getting very old. He is, from the best I can tell, mostly deaf now and his vision is compromised as well. He still gets around and seems happy enough though I would be happier if he would try harder to get his geriatric butt outside BEFORE he pooped on the floor in the middle of the night.
Sleep is hard won around here. Once up on a time it was the babies and toddlers keeping me awake but now it's a geriatric dog and a ridiculously high energy kitten. Go figure.

As for me - I am doing great. Happy and (relatively) healthy. I'm out in the world enjoying life as often as possible. I am following my heart and finding the sense of peace for which I have been longing. It's all coming together. You know.... except for that pesky job thing...but I even have a good feeling that that is going to pan out soon as well.

I think you are mostly up to date now: book fair success, high drama escapades, kiddo update, crazy animal-land and me...yep...all up to date. Time to go figure out what to feed the young ones for dinner.

What are you still hanging around for? Get back to your life! :)

Tuesday Morning

It's 6:47am. I've been up since 4:15. So many thoughts rattling around in my head that sleep was hard won last night. Mostly good thoughts though so that's ok.

Today is day two of the book fair and, as it looms ahead, I've received a few emails from volunteers who need to cancel. I wish I had the volunteer schedule here so I could stop wondering about how it affects the schedule (and prepare myself for the onslaught of crazy!). We open the cash registers at 7:45 and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will be in a sweat by 8am as I work hard to ring up sales and answer questions. It's a quick, but long, 45 minutes from the first person to walk in to the ringing of the bell to signal the beginning of the school day. The rest of the day will go in fits and starts as classes come through and recess and lunchtimes factor into the schedule.

I'm excited and exhausted just thinking about the day.

Tomorrow is Loved Ones Morning which is a family event. An absolutely CRAZY hour in which we will most likely pull in an entire days worth of revenue. Thursday is the big evening event and then Friday we wrap up.

And the weather for the entire week? Pouring rain. All day. All week. That means wet children, wet money, wet everything. The school grounds has very poor drainage which just increased the "soak-a-tude" factor. Fun! :)

I'm hoping for a peaceful and highly enjoyable evening to offset the craziness of the day. It's the goal I have my eye on and one I hope the heavens smile favorably upon so I can have it.

Enjoy the day!