My niece, Rachel, sent an email to night to update me on Brandon.
"They took him off the ventilator this morning. He has done fairly well and is able to communicate somewhat. He tries to talk but has a sore throat so he is very hard to understand. Also he is still doped up part of the time. He had another dialysis treatment today. His labs are looking ok except for the kidney function. Since they
took out the ventilator tube I brought the kids in so that they could see Daddy. I especially wanted Mikayla to go in so that she could see that we have been telling her the truth-that Daddy is in the hospital and is very sick. The visit went well. It was approximately 5 minutes which is all I thought they needed. I was very proud of Mikayla. Parker was a little bit scared but did talk to Brandon. Brandon even managed a sort of smile for Mikayla. They(the nurses) have been able to feed him ice chips and brushed his teeth with those sponge toothbrushes."
She also wanted to thank all of you for your prayers, good thoughts and well wishes. Unbeknownst to me, she has been reading my blog and has read all your supportive comments. They mean so much to her.
She also has a question and asked me if I would pose it to all of you so she could get some feedback. Brandon's brother took his 6 and 10 year old sons into the ICU a few days ago to see Brandon. This was when Brandon was still heavily sedated and on the ventilator. This upset Rachel greatly for a couple of reasons; the first being that she felt the ICU, and Brandon's room, was no place for children which was why she did not allow her own children to go to the hospital. The second reason was that if any children went into the ICU, it should have been Brandon's own children. Not nephews.
Once Rachel learned of the nephews being in the ICU, she placed a "no children" order on Brandon's chart. I completely agree with her decision. Brandon's family, however, does not and it has caused a rift. Apparently Brandon's family has ignored the order and even argued with the nursing staff about it. They are also giving Rachel a really hard time about it.
As you can imagine, this has only added to the stress and pressure that Rachel is under.
So she wanted to ask you all for a reality check; do you think children, not immediately related, should have been allowed in the ICU to see Brandon? And even if there was no order in place, would *you* have taken your young child into the ICU to see a relative that was so gravely ill? And if you would have, would you have done so knowing full well that the wife of the patient didn't feel it was appropriate? (Someone to watch the kids was not an issue. There were plenty of family around who could watch since only a couple people were allowed back at a time.)
Thanks for your feedback. I know Rachel will appreciate it. And again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Please keep them coming!
10 comments:
Oh, gosh, I think it was very thoughtless for anyone to take children into ICU without checking with the next of kin (Rachel), and considering that his condition was undiagnosed, I also think it was potentially risky. I'm also very surprised that the hospital staff allowed anyway. Isn't there a limit on how many, when, who can visit under the circumstances? I surely thought so.
I guess I'm saying that I think she had the right to be upset. The biggest concern should be his recovery, not whatever was the "need" for the nephews to be there. And his family should butt out as he is now "one" with his wife, not his parents or brothers or sisters or ... well, you get it.
It's her decision, and I can't imagine anyone putting her through any more stress than she's already under. Geesh. We were very strict about who could come in Froggy's hospital room, and they had to use alcohol on their hands. Kids carry a ton of germs, and are constantly exposed to colds and the flu. Your niece is being very cautious and smart, and everyone should respect that.
I'm glad to know that Brandon continues to make progress.
Where I grew up, they called it Critical Care Unit, and they had (and still have) a policy of no one under 16, and only two people at a time. I'm sure they would make an exception if it were "immediate" family and the circumstances waranted it. So, I'm 100% on Rachel's side ... no kids in ICU! I also agree with Lynilu that allowing the kids in was very risky. As Brandon gains his strength back, he (and Rachel) should decide who is allowed in his room.
You all are ever in my prayers.
NO Rachel is not in any way out of line. Her children should have been the first to see Brandon and definitely the ignoring of the No Children order is grossly out of line on his families part. She should stand firm on this. Isn't is just amazing how people can make things "about them" even in the most trying of times. They shouldn't put any more on this poor young woman's shoulders. She's been through enough. Hugs Rachel.
Everyone here has articulated my exact thoughts on this so well. My first response was total disbelief that anyone would even think of taking their children into the ICU, and my next thought was that I cannot believe they are being so disrepectful to Rachel and her wishes. This is totally the kind of thing that can tear families apart, when what everyone needs is to be coming together in support of each other. So sad. Rachel - you are 100% right!
I guess Brandon's biological family is letter their own fears (and whatever baggage may exist) get in the way of their good judgment. People do weird things under stress. I'm sorry they are adding to your stress.
We are sending lots of love, prayers and positive energy your way.
-Dakota
I think that ICU really isn't a place for kids. It's a really scary place! My dad was in ICU once for 2 weeks. I really missed him, but I think my mom made the right choice by not bringing us the hospital until he was in the regular care unit. Plus, there are so many limits on how many visits, at what times, etc. for the ICU dept.
Plus, kids can be crazy. They have a lot of energy, a lot of germs, etc. I would say his best bet is to rest and just relax- when he is better, and in a different department, then let the kids in?
I think she is certainly right.
I think that ICU really isn't a place for kids. It's a really scary place! My dad was in ICU once for 2 weeks. I really missed him, but I think my mom made the right choice by not bringing us the hospital until he was in the regular care unit. Plus, there are so many limits on how many visits, at what times, etc. for the ICU dept.
Plus, kids can be crazy. They have a lot of energy, a lot of germs, etc. I would say his best bet is to rest and just relax- when he is better, and in a different department, then let the kids in?
I think she is certainly right.
OMG here we go again...people take children were they DON'T belong...people now a days thinks their children should be able to go everywhere...wake up people they're CHILDREN....some people????...I agree with rachel and that's her right, it's her husband...send her our love!!!
I think only Brandons children should be allowed in to see him. Be sure to let Rachel know that she has lots of people all over that are praying for Brandons recovery.
I'm so glad he is doing better! I have been thinking about him and was hoping no news was good news.
About the children, I don't know if I would have brought my own children in to see their uncle -- maybe -- but absolutely not if I knew the spouse didn't think children should come in. They could have spoken with her about it if they felt it was very important to their children to see him. I think she's right to limit the number of children in and out of there -- those little buggers are filthy! ;) I hope all of this will be forgotten once the stress of the illness is past.
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