Autumn

I love this time of year. Without a doubt, this is my very favorite season. The heat of summer is finally behind us. I love the cold, rain and wind....the leaves fluttering to the ground by the handfuls. It's this time of year that makes me wish I had a huge porch with a swing so I could bundle up in a sweater, pour a huge cup of coffee and sit out on the swing watching the world.

I've been waiting for a day like today all week - even though the ground was wet I was eager to get the kids out in the leaves to play. So, this morning we bundled up and out we went.

The prince had a great time running, kicking the leaves and throwing them every which way. The princess was enjoying crawling around and eating the leaves.

Here's some photos of the fun:

Casey needs.....

This is spreading through my local blog community like wildfire - but if you haven't done it already, go to Google and type in your first name and the word "needs". (It would look like: Casey needs) It's just too darn funny what comes up. Here are some of mine:

Casey Needs HELP!

Casey needs victory.

Casey needs your help!

Casey needs shoulder surgery.

Casey needs no introduction

Casey needs confidence

Casey needs your help

Casey Needs Your Success Story

.....and my all time favorite:

Casey needs a life


Hmmm...not sure what it's trying to tell me but there is definitely an underlying theme. :)

Long Lost Film

Clearly we made the switch to digital quickly and easily without looking back. :)

I've had a roll of film sitting on the counter waiting to be delveoped. I knew it was from shortly after the princess was born but had no idea what was on it (I still have a roll in the film camera that I need to finish and get developed. It will be a trip to see what's on that one as well.).
It turns out it was shot the end of March - Easter. There were pictures of the Easter Egg hunt in which the prince took part. Pictures of him sitting on the Easter Bunny's lap. Easter morning...and a few of the princess in all her tiny-ness. I can hardly believe she was *that* small. The binky looks gi-normous in her mouth (not so much the case now).

I'll post a few here to share. Ah - memories. They are so sweet. :)

Nothing Smaller Than Your Elbow

Your mom probably told you this when you were younger. Turns out, she was right!

This morning the prince decided, in all his 3 year old glory, to shove PlayDoh in his ears. He’s done this before but the pieces were big enough for me to reach and remove with a pair of tweezers. Not this time.

I tried to get the pieces out but after removing a few I realized there were some that were too deep for me to reach (it was a green color so I could see that there was more in there). So, after calling the doctor’s office, we were on our way. All the time I’m feeling silly about this. Oy.

The doctor, all the while assuring me this is normal for the 2.5-3.5 year olds, used a small tool to remove a few pieces but there were some even he couldn’t reach. The next step was flushing out the ear canal with warm water. Sure enough, out came a bunch of PlayDoh in a flood of water.

My brave boy. He really made me proud. He sat so still and didn’t say a word the whole time. After all was said and done he told me “Mama, I be really super brave cuz it hurt a lot.”

For his reward he received three gloves to be blown into balloons, three tongue depressor puppets (he named them Prince, Mama and Doctor) and a sticker. Not a bad deal for sticking something in your ear.

Even though I don’t think he’ll be sticking PlayDoh in his ears anytime soon, I still think it’s best for all the PlayDoh to take a short vacation. This stuff really IS the bane of my existence.

Here are a couple photos from our adventure this morning.

I Love These Kids!!

My babies - they are just too much! *happy sigh*

Floam, Part 2

No Floam yet. I'm not sure why it is taking so long - they sure were quick to charge my debit card. I'm going to call tomorrow and ask when we might be seeing it (if ever).

I thought the prince had forgotten about it since he gave us asking but today - the Floam conversation raised its ugly head.

It better get here soon - it's going to be too rainy and cold to be outside soon.

*Sigh*

D did not disappoint. She flipped and countered with "Yes but you paid shipping out of our checking account which means we are still out about $30."

I find it less than amusing that she is one to spend money like crazy on this, that and the other thing (recently school related but the weekends used to be quite expensive for us as she found new fun things to do and buy) but will come unglued at me for spending money.

So - now I get to feel really crappy about buying the pictures. :( I know I went overboard - I owned up to it - and yet, it's never enough.

And yeah - being the child that I am known to be I shot back with "And you are getting HOW far in debt with law school?" Mature, I know. *sigh* So now I feel bad about that, too.

I can't win.

The Cost of Pictures

Oy! I about had a heart attack this morning. I took the princess in for her 8 month photos and the prince decided that he would be in one with her (which is good because Grandma has been asking for an updated photo of the two of them as hers is from when the princess was 5 weeks old). The Christmas backdrop was already up from the people before us and since the prince climbed up on the table, I decided to just go with the Christmas background. What the heck.

He was reasonably good for the photos (and by reasonably good you who already have gone through the 2-3 year old stage know what I'm talking about) and she managed to get a couple of decent shots. Then it was on to the princess alone. She did pretty well considering it was part her morning nap time and we managed to get a few good ones of her. One even shows her two bottom teeth (how could I *not* get that one even if it wasn't the best one of her??).

The staff helping me choose the photos kept saying "How could you not get this pose? Just look at those cheeks! Adorable!" which didn't help me stick to my budget for pictures. With the prince I was so good and only bought the package and never, ever spent more than $12. But now, with the two kids, I find I am sneaking in two sittings (and sometimes three) so I can no longer go with just the package - I am buying it by the sheet. Still with a coupon so it's $4.99 a sheet instead of $12.99 and yet........

$75.00 later - we left Penneys. YIKES YIKES YIKES!!!

I about had a freaking heart attack thinking of what D is going to say (if you're reading this; don't boil over yet.....keep going).

Thank goodness I was selling my maternity clothes of eBay this week. I transferred the money from my PayPal account into our checking account to cover the cost of the photos. PHEW!

From now on I am going to make separate appointments; one for the princess, one for the prince and one for photos together and stick to the game plan of buying the package deal. This was an expensive lesson to learn and frankly, it's the most money I have ever spent at Penney's photo studio.

But I bet the photos will be really great when I pick them up on the 20th! :)

Confession Time

Ready?

I love the fruit puff finger foods by Gerber. LOVE them! I would sit here and eat them all day if I could justify it.

I'm not sure who gets more excited about snack time - the princess or me.

How sad and pathetic is that? :)

I Hate Playdoh.

There. I said it. I hate Playdoh. I despise it. It gets everywhere- the table, the floor, the tread of shoes, ground into the chair fabric, the prince's hair, in the princess' mouth...everywhere - it's get everywhere. Can you tell what I just finished cleaning up?

And while I'm at it - I hate watercolors, crayons, markers, finger paints, stickers and scissors.

I think I'm anti-art. I wasn't always - it's only been recently I've started to have a love/hate relationship with craft projects.

The prince LOVES to do craft projects. I honestly think he would do them all day long if I gave him unending access to the cabinet. But the mess! Oh the mess.

Being the good mom that I try to be though, I give into his requests easily. Being creative makes him a very happy boy and if my boy is happy, so am I.

But I really do hate the mess.

I wonder if our parents felt the same way.

My Pride and Joys :)

A Typical Day For This SAHM

Tracey got me thinking....how much *do* I do in any give day? I'm going to run down the list and then I'll edit and add as the day goes on.

In bed by 11:15pm
Nurse baby 50 trillion times - ok, more like three - during the night
Wake at 7:20 to a little voice saying "Mama - I wanna watch TV."
I get up, turn on his show, and head back to bed. I notice the time. *grumble* No returning to bed for me.
I turn on the coffee and computer
check email real quick
start laundry
go into my bathroom and prepare for a shower
get interupted by a little boy who wants me to watch part of his Hi-5 show with him
I comply to his request (baby is still sleeping)
After watching, I jump in the shower
get dressed
baby wakes, I nurse her, play a bit, change her diaper and get her dressed
I dress the boy
I go out and make coffee
drink some, play with the baby and watch the boy on the computer as he eats breakfast
answer the phone, it's my friend saying that she can't go to the new moms group we were going to attend today - since I don't want to go alone, I'm suddenly at a lose for what to do for the morning
I go to make all three beds - but then decide to change sheets. I start with the bed in the baby's room then realize I need to wash the sheets from that bed in order to have a clean set for the master bed. Start to strip the boys bed and then realize that he will have a fit if his pillow case isn't on his pillow at nap time. This is far more complicated than it should be.

I make the boys bed - I'll wash those sheets this afternoon.
Start more laundry, fold what was in the dryer
(Time check: it's 9:00)
The baby is showing signs of needing her morning nap
I take her and nurse her and as she is drifting off the boy comes into the room talking a mile a minute. The baby loves her brother and bolts upright at the sound of his voice.
Send the boy out of the room with the promise of a special art project after baby is sleeping and try again to get baby to sleep.
Repeat above scenerio.
Baby not sleeping - take her out to the livingroom to play
Have more coffee
(time check: 9:45)
Change poppy baby diaper and try the sleep thing again
Baby asleep
Return to livingroom and ask boy if he's ready for art project
Get out paint, paper, marbles and small roasting pan
Create artwork and have fun
Answer a phone call
Return to the patio to find the boy has left painty handprints on everything
Go into the kitchen to retrieve a rag
Notice there is a pile of rags on the floor and GROSS! What did I just step in?
Inquire - what got spilled?
"Nothing"
Inquire again
"Nothing spilled. I peed"
Argh. Asks why and discuss proper peeing location
Clean up mess both inside and out
Check AOL for Tracey - make sure she isn't having her baby yet. Talk with her for a while.
Start more laundry, fold more laundry
Answer phone call - it's Tracey :)
finish folding and putting away
Make PB&J for the boy
Clean kitchen/do dishes/set out breakfast stuff for Friday
check email, start this posting
play with the boy
baby wakes up, go get her, change her and play with her
Check load in dryer - turn dryer back on
(time check: 11:45)
Feed dogs
spend time with kids playing
remember that my goal for the day was to hang the letters that spell the baby's name in her room (I've had them since she was 2 months old)
set the kids up with their toys and head to kitchen to prepare letters for sticking to wall
put the letters on the wall in baby's room
hear baby crying go to investigate
inquire - hear "I don't know" but know better than that. Inquire again
Finally the boy admits to laying in her back
Talk about how we can't do that and ask why. He knows reason. Talk about not hurting her on purpose.
Help them get back to playing
The baby is hungry so we go off to her room to nurse
The boy follows in a few minutes and decides to have a potato sack race with a pillowcase waiting to be washed
We all laugh
The boy climbs on the bed with us and we have a kissing fight which turns into a rasberry blowing fight
Hair pulling occurs so I end play session

Talk with D on the phone to find out how her morning went
Returned to the livingroom to play with the kids - the prince wanted to watch Mr. Rogers which was a good idea as nap time was quickly approaching
I folded laundry and put duvet cover back on comforter while the baby played with the toys in her room
The prince comes to find me and says he is ready for his nap (before the end of his show) so I get him ready, read a story and tuck him in
Nurse the baby in hopes she will want to sleep as well - no luck.
Returned to livingroom, played some more and then read the paper while she played
She is tired so try to put her down again

to be continued...................

Bad Parenting - By Whose Standard?

Oh sure - as a society we can agree on the big points: neglect, abuse, endangerment, etc. but what about smaller issues like manners and behaviors. I'm talking about the young ones...from age 1-5....who has defined "bad parenting" and what standard is being employed?

I'm tired of feeling guilty because my child doesn't behave perfectly - because he acts like a 3 year old (which he is, by the way). I'm tired of feeling like I never should have had children - that I can't raise them properly to be decent members of society.

This is what got me going today (well - in truth it was the straw that broke this camels back today): a person on one of my list-serves sent a posting that revolved around these lines:
*snip*
I think that how 'good' your children are is a direct reflection of how good a parent you are. I know that my opinion won't be a popular one because many parents can't own their child's negative bahaviors.
*end snip*

So basically I'm a crappy parent because my child isn't as good as gold and because I can't "control" him. Because he is "busy".

I realize this is an over simplication but I also realize that there are a lot of people out there who feel they have the right to judge other people's parenting when those parents really are doing the best they can at any given moment. Children can be wild. They need to be "tamed" so to speak. That would be the process of raising children.

In the end, if you have an adult who can function in the world and contribute than you have done a great job. We're raising human beings and the process is messy, unpredictable and challenging. I think we should support each other and not give blanket statements like "your children's behavior is a direct reflection on the kind of parent you are". Just how helpful is that anyway?

From my perspective, being a parent is a tough gig. I'm hard enough on myself - I don't need other people being hard on me as well. Besides, what equates to bad parenting for one person isn't for another. What's that? You'd like a few examples? Ok - here goes:

What may be considered bad parenting by some but embraces by others:

co-sleeping
not co-sleeping
crying it out
not crying it out
attachment parenting
TV allowed
TV not allowed
creative expression through paints
not encouraging creative expression through paint
being allowed to stay up too late
not seeing a parent because it means staying up later and that isn't happening
being allowed computer access
not being allowed computer access
bottle feeding
extended nursing
being too strict about kid behaviors that aren't all that awful
not caring if your kid climbs under the table at a restuarant as long as s/he is quiet
being too controlling
being too permissive

So...as you can see, there are lots of ways to look at things. I am not saying that children should not be raised to have good manners and know how to behave in a proper and acceptable way but I am saying that we ought to stop implying the people are "bad parents" based soley on the way their children behave in isolated instances or in one type of environment.

I don't know....all I really know is I am not perfect in anything I do. Neither is my child. That's life.

It's the end of our playgroup

I'm feeling sad and unsettled today. I guess the reality of the end of our playgroup is hitting now that the other moms are hooking up with new playgroups. Maybe I'm in denial that things have gotten to the point they have. It's not the kids - they aren't the reason at all. It's the moms.

We have one mom who seems bent on having confrontations with everyone about everything. It started with me and then another mom was the object of the venom. I'm not sure what it is about this one mom. She used to be a really cool person but lately religion has come into play. She wasn't always like that - it's almost like she is being taken over by the pod people. I have a hard time being civil to her when I was told she thinks D and I are going to hell because of our "lifestyle". Yeah - that was hard to swallow considering I thought she and I were friends. I don't buy into this "hate the sin but love the sinner" stuff. For me, it's a packaged deal. How can I trust her when I know how she really feels about me? Plain and simple fact is, I can't. And I don't. Not to mention she said some pretty nasty stuff about my son.......

And then there is what happened between this mom and another one of the moms. It just seems to compound and the drama is just too much for me.

So.....as a whole, the rest of the group is uneasy so we decided to stop official playgroups and meet whenever people want.

I'm sad. I've been with these people and their kids since the prince was 9 months old. I also have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that the prince won't be seeing much of the kids he has grown up with. And...I hate to say it, but it feels like they moms joining new playgroups are traitors. Ridiculous, I know. It just hurts to know they are all joining new groups.

I haven't decided what to do. I would like to join a new group but the prince is a major consideration. He's a lot to handle - I mean a lot. I'm already so afraid that people talk about him in a less than nice way. He's active. Never sits still. He has a tendancy to grab toys, sometimes to hit. I try to tell myself he's a regular, normal, healthy 3.5 year old but sometimes I wonder.

He's a lot. And I don't want anyone talking about us behind our backs. I hear enough commments about how busy he is - and I really believe it's a thinly veiled comment about how obnoxious he can be. And yeah - I feel responsible.

So....the playgroup era is over and I'm sad about it. It just feels like another loss - another thing to miss and another thing to add to my sense of loneliness.

We made it!

And a good time was had by all! :) Stories about the trip will be posted soon but I just had to share a few of the photos my sister took. The little girl, M, is my 4 year old great-niece. She and the prince have a mutual admiration society going even though they are known to fight like cats and dogs at times. :)

The first picture of the princess with her 7 week old cousin, P. I have to say, there is quite a size difference between almost 2 months and almost 8 months. She looks like a giant next to him!

The second shot is of the prince helping to wash and "design" M's shampoo hairstyle. Notice his hairstyle, too! :)

The third one we're titling "Bad boys, bad boys". Our two little jailbirds.

The fourth and sixth pictures are of the princess playing dress-up and the fifth shot is of the prince and M creating art.

I've packed up and I'm taking the kids!

That got your attention, didn't it? :) No worries, the prince, princess and I are just taking a three day trip to visit my sister (and hopefully my brother). It's a 3.5 hour drive and I'm planning on pulling out of the driveway at 7AM.

Part of me thinks I'm nuts. Not because the kids are I are going to be away from home (though I do have some anxiety about it....we've never gone anywhere overnight without D before and my emotions are kind of all over the board these days with the PPD stuff) but rather because of the drive itself. There will be no one to help calm a crying baby or pacify a restless 3 year old. It will just be them and me.

Keep good thoughts and I'll see you all next week!

Color Test....read what it says about me! I think a lot of it is true. :)

Casey took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Takes easily and quickly to anything which provide..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Did you hear that?

It's the sound of my heart breaking. This is what the prince said to me today while I was strapping him into his carseat so we could drive home from the park:

"Mommy - I'm sorry I make your life so hard."

I told him that HE didn't make my life so hard but sometimes the behavior he chooses does.

And still....I just wanted to cry.

He and I have really been struggling lately. I know it's typical 3 year old behavior but knowing that doesn't really help in the heat of the moment. He seems to be struggling so hard - being a child isn't as easy as it should be, I guess.

More pictures

I know, I know. Shameless of me but I just can't help it. :)

The park pictures are from Saturday when we went to a Lesbian Moms picnic (big fun!). The one of the princess in her highchair is her first experience with finger food (and the first time we used the big tray!). Enjoy!

Naughty Rug

Oy! A certain little someone is spending a lot of time on the naughty rug tonight. I know it's important to teach him that he can't spray water in the house and he can't purposely knock over the paper shredder - let alone mere inches from the princess' head - but it sucks just the same.

It's going to be a looooong night.

"Mama, it's hard to have a baby sister."

How can you argue with that? I did, however, counter with "And I'm sure it's hard to BE a baby sister."

This conversation took place after I had left them both in the livingroom so that I could take care of the dinner dishes. I was in the midst of drying things when I heard a horrible baby scream followed by some serious crying. I ran into the room, scooped up the princess and demanded "What happened?". The prince looks at me, dissolves into tears, collapses on the couch and says "I don't know!"

Again, I demand "What happened to her?"

"Her fell and hit her mouth on the table." He said, referring to the coffee table.

"Did she fall all by herself or were you dancing on the table and accidently ran into her?"

He looks down.

Finally he says "Her standing at table and I push her down. She hit her mouth when her fell."

*sigh*

"You need to stop pushing your sister."

My teary eyed boy says "Mama, it's hard to have a baby sister."

"Yes, honey. I know."

You just can't argue with that.

The Fox and the Hounds

When you are in deep trouble, say nothing, and try to look inconspicuous.

For All Of You Who Have Been Wondering....

I went to the doctor today about my depression and other symptoms. The short story is my anti-depressant has been increased to double what it was, they did blood work and a urinalysis to rule out other medical things (like thyroid). I am supposed to work on carving out more time for me, more time for just the prince and me and I am mandated to return in 4 weeks. To assure my return, she only gave me enough antidepressants for the month. Sly fox. Guess that probably had something to do with the part of the conversation about "why'd it take so long for you to come in?" and "because I'm a good liar and I could have convinced you I was doing ok and I guess it took me completely falling apart to realize I had to tell the truth to get the help I clearly need."

Now about that "me" time and time alone with the prince...just how am I supposed to get that?

Next month she is going to give me another goal to work towards. The only issue I can see arising is she is a big fan of crying it out and I'm not. Not sure how I'll deal with that one when it comes up. She said we can tackle the harder things once I'm feeling better about life.

Baby steps. She said we'll work through this all in baby steps.

My Daughter Has A Black Eye

Just pass that Mother of the Year award over here.

Yep - it's true. The princess is sporting a black eye. She has been crawling around like a wild woman these days and this evening was no different. I had her in the kitchen with me while I was doing the dinner dishes. In the blink of an eye she was in the diningroom and in another blink she was screaming. See....we have this step down into the livingroom from both the foyer and the diningroom and it never fails that crawling children take a header (or two, three or four) off the step before they learn to scoot down backwards. She has not yet learned the scoot down backwards.

Unfortunately, she didn't fall off in the open area. No, not my girl. Instead, she took a header off the step and landed face first on the pointer rocker of my antique rocking chair. An eigth of an inch more and I think she might have poked her eye out. As it is, she has a large angry red scratch on her temple and a nice bruise right at the corner of her eye.

Oh yeah - nothing says "I take good care of my kids" like a big old ugly black eye on a 7 month old. *sigh*

Bath Buddies

I wish I had time for a real posting but until I do, pictures of the prince and princess will have to do. :)

The Prince Strikes Again

I left the room for 10 minutes to give the princess a bath and this is what I came back to. *sigh* It's never ending around here.

Some photos to share

Mommy brag time! :)







I know you're dying to see more. :) You can right here. The magic password is: ourkids

Guess Who Has A Tooth??

Yep - the princess.

Can you say "Growing Up Too Fast!" with me? Sheesh.

I guess that accounts for the sleepless nights full of all out crying jags we've had the past three nights. Poor little thing.

What Does My Birth Date Mean?

Your Birthdate: December 15

With a birthday on the 15th of any month, you are apt to have really strong attachments to home, family and domestic scene. The 1 and 5 equaling 6, provide the sort of energy that makes you an excellent parent or teacher. You are very responsible and capable. This is an attractive and an attracting influence. You like harmony in your environment and strive to maintain it. You tend to learn by observation rather than study and research. You may like to cook, but you probably don't follow recipes. This number shows artistic leanings and would certainly support an talents that may be otherwise in your makeup. You're a very generous and giving person, but perhaps a bit stubborn in ways.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Spinning

SPIN
SPIN
SPIN


If you read an earlier post of mine, then you know what those three little words mean.

This is my livingroom as it looks at this very moment - it's a disaster and I don't even care. I'm just going to leave it - maybe D will clean it up when she gets home. Maybe not. I just don't care.

Yet another day on the suck-o-rama ride. Is it just trying to adjust and feeling overwhelmed? It is PPD getting worse? It is a combination of many things? It is just my inability to cope? Maybe I'm just a sucky parent. Maybe it's everything.

*sigh*

I'm washing my bedding again.

Potty training SUCKS!!



But I have to say, a waterproof mattress cover is worth it's weight in gold.

"We do not blow food out of our nose at the table."

Yet another sentence I never thought I'd have to say.

*sigh*

***********
Edited on 9/15
For Tracey: It was milk. Gross!!!

Hmmm...which toy should I choose?

Uh -oh, here comes trouble!

Need I say more?

"Quick! Send in the reinforcement - she's gonna blow!"

Oh yeah - that pretty much sums up my day.

The prince was in rare tantrum mode today - everything became a full-blown tantrum. By the 10th, or was it the 12th or 14th - I gave up counting - I picked up my cell phone, punched the one number I knew would connect me to the other person who was responsible for creating these children and spit out the first words that come to my mind: "I hate you!" I don't, of course, but at that moment I was hating her for the decision to go to school. I was hating her for not being here when I desperately needed her here. I was hating her for having a life while I was here, listening to children scream at me, for me and to me.

I rattled off the stuff that had just recently happened and when she, in all her wisdom, tried to point out the good stuff I said "I have to go now. I have nothing nice to say." Word to the wise: never, ever, ever try to point out the times when the children behave when one person is in the throes of meltdown hell.

About 15 minutes later my phone rang, it was D's sister asking if it would be ok if she stopped by for a while since she had to be on this end of town anyway. Would it be ok? YES YES YES!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! I am normally not one to say "I need help!" but after the day I had, and the tears I had cried in frustration, panic, pity, loneliness, sadness, and regret I eagerly agreed to have the door open.

Ten minutes later my cell phone rings and I can see from the caller display that it's D. I pick up and say "Called in the reinforcements, eh?" She said "Yeah - figured I'd better." Smart woman.

Linda and come over and it was heaven on earth for a while. She and the prince locked themselves away in his room (with intructions from the prince for me to "Go in the other room, please." Yeah - I'd had enough of him, too.) and played. I nursed and rocked the princess and got her down, folded a load of laundry and returned a call to my sister. The princess awoke - I nursed her back to sleep.

Then the dreaded time arrived. Linda needed to leave. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Ok, we're calm, the baby is sleeping, the boy is doing better. I took a deep breath, thanked her for rescuing me and said good-bye.

I swear the princess heard the click of the lock on the front door. *sigh* Off and running again. Get her quieted down, run the bath for the prince, quiet down the baby again, get the prince in the tub, nurse the baby, return to the bathroom to wash the prince's hair - stop mid wash to go back to baby. Pick baby up and bring her to the bathroom. Finish washing hair, try to convince the princess why playing with the potty chair is not a good idea, rinse the prince, try to convince him to leave the tub, give up because I can't face another tantrum, check email with baby on my lap, return to bathroom to find prince squeezing out the last few drops of the NEW bottle of baby wash, sigh deeply, pick boy up out of tub, dry, clean up tub, dress boy, hold now crying baby, turn on TV and get boy a snack, take princess back to her room to attempt putting her back down. No dice. Give up and take baby back to livingroom with me.

Ten minutes later D arrives home. Thank God!

This day sucked.

Banana Bread!

I am making banana bread, are you proud of me? You would be if you knew one key thing about me.....I am no fan of cooking or baking. In fact, it's fair to say I hate it. Ick. I guess I've never seen the fun in it. You work and work and work to make something, you spend 10 maybe 15 minutes eating it and then you have all the clean up to do. Wouldn't it just be easier to pour yourself a bowl of cereal?

Anyway - I have THE best banana bread recipe and it's so easy that even *I* can't mess it up. Ready?

3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup oil (can use applesauce and 1TBL oil for lower fat bread)
2 eggs
1 cup mashed banana (about 2 bananas)

Mix all up and then combine with:
1 3/4 cup flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

For added fun, feel free to toss in chocolate chips (which I forgot to do for this loaf. Bummer.)

Bake at 325 for 1 hour

Enjoy!

How Can 15 Minutes Feel Like An Hour?

The kids and I are all in the kitchen. The princess is crawling around on the floor, the prince is trying to convince me that he should get to pull the string on the ceiling fan as much as he wants and then, since that failed to work, starts pulling leaves off the poor plant on the table.

I get angry that he won't listen to me and pluck him from the table (which he climbed on during all this) and plop him on the floor.

"Mama" he says "Me peed on the bed."

"WHAT? You did what?"

"Me peed on the bed."

"Which bed."

"Yours."

"Why?"

"Cuz."

Why Kelton? Why did you pee on my bed?"

"Me thought me had to pee than thought no, no have to and then peed on bed.", he saiys; shrugging his shoulders

Crap.

I walk down the hall and into my room (which I haven't actually slept in in weeks and weeks since the princess and I are sleeping on the bedin her room). Sure enough - he peed on the bed. Thank goodness for waterproof mattress covers.

I feel like I'm gonna blow. This potty training stuff isn't working out like I'd thought. Leaving him naked works most of the time - unless he is upset at me or bored or just not in the mood to make the trek to his potty. I hate this. It shouldn't be this hard but I have one of the most stubborn children on the planet - but I guess he comes be it honestly.

I strip the bed and start the washer. Never mind that I already have a bunch of laundry to do today. What's another three loads? *sigh*

I hear the princess. Oh right - she was still on the kitchen floor.

Uh oh. The dog water.

Yep - it's true. She crawled over to the dog water and dumped it every where which, of course means....another new outfit for her (this would be her third and it isn't even 10 o'clock. Just call my daughter "The Blow Out Queen").

I change her and while doing so I look at the clock.

It's only been 15 minutes. How is that possible?

Can You Say Uh Oh?

Look what the princess can do. YIKES!! What will next week bring? Walking?

Housekeepers - are they worth the trouble?

Yes. Absolutely. However these is a lot of stress involved in getting ready for the housekeepers to come.

Who knew I would have to spend 90 minutes running around like a mad woman cleaning up before the people paid to clean my house arrive. I know you are probably saying "Get over it." but really.....I had to de-clutter all surfaces, arrange toys, bag up all the bathtub toys, etc. all the while trying to keep the prince from pulling out every game and toy he owns (which I concede....is far too many!).

The good part is I didn't have to scrub the toilets, showers and sinks. I didn't have to mop or vacuum or dust. I didn't even have to do the windows.

So yeah - it's worth it. Now if I could only find a service that would straighten up, put things away and then clean I'd be all set. :)

Feeling Lucky

I am completely, and shamelessly, stealing this from another blog I read. I read it on Cristin's blog last night and this part kept echoing in my head last night and today. I've edited to fit my life....

"I am lucky to have gotten the chance to be with my kids today. I am lucky to have gotten the chance to yell at them, to feel fed up by them, to feel overwhelmed as a mother, to feel like my two kids were always under my feet.

Thank you babies, for always being under my feet. I wouldn't want it any other way. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I am lucky. I am sorry for yelling, cursing to myself, wishing you both would sit quietly so I could get a moments peace. I'm sorry.

I am lucky. L-U-C-K-Y."


Thank you, Cristin - this really sums it up for me.

What Is It About People Who Think They Know It All?

They frustrate me. A lot.

My sister never raised children - the man she married had grown children when they got together and while she has spent lots of time around kids, she's never raised them, been completely responsible for everything about them or been in total control of their well-being.

Though she knows everything about anything....just ask her. :) I love her, don't get me wrong, but it's so hard to hold my tongue when she starts in with the "You need to send the prince to pre-school. He MUST go. It's the best thing for him and he needs to spend time away from you." or "Just wait - you aren't always going to be the center of his world - next year he'll be wanting to get away from you." or "You shouldn't let him stay up until D gets home from school. It's not good for him and he won't be able to function in the real world. When he's in school he just won't be able to stay up until 10pm. He'll have to just get used to it."

ARGH!!!!!!!!

I want to yell "How do you know? How do YOU know what's best for MY child? How do you know what our family needs and/or wants? And who gives you the rights to pass judgement on me and tell me I'm doing things wrong?"

Let's start with the first point: I don't NEED to send him to preschool. If he was wanting to go and really seemed like he was ready, I'd find a way to swing it for him but that isn't the case. He gets plenty of interaction with other children and we do things like crafts, imaginary play, etc. We take trips to the library, parks, etc. It's not like I keep him locked in his room without exposure to the real world or other people. And on top of that, he is doing fine. He can count to 20, he knows his colors and shapes. He is working on knowing the alphabet. He can play computer games like Clifford, Dora and Alphabet Express. He really is doing fine in all regards - though he isn't ready to be away from me yet. Should I force that on him? Heck - even if I should, I'm not going to. He has his whole life to be away from me and only 5 short years to be with me all the time. So does he NEED preschool? No. No, he doesn't. But if he wanted to go, or if I felt it was in his best interest, I would send him. Bottom line: my child, my choice.

The whole "you shouldn't let him stay up until D gets home" bugs me even more than preschool. So what? She thinks it's best for him to go 3 days without seeing D at all? All of the sake of going to bed one hour earlier? I believe that he needs to see D and spend time with her EVERY day - even if it's only 30 minutes. He needs to know she is there for him - he needs to know she is there - period.

Sure, this wouldn't work in some families. I know some people think I'm crazy to let him stay up but I also know my child and I KNOW he needs his other Mama. I would never, ever keep him from that if I dodn't have to. Sure - if she was coming in at 11pm, I'd be a little nuts to keep him up but it's really only an hour later than he usually would go to bed. On the days she will be late, he will go to bed before she gets home (case in point, last Thursday. He was asleep before she arrived home because her class was going over to make up for the Labor Day weekend). But you know? Even if I WERE crazy....isn't it my call to make? Again, my child, my choice. No one knows my children or my family the way I do. I am always going to do what is in their best interest - even if it means I get 30 minutes less of alone time.

And don't get me started on my co-sleeping with the princess. I know I thought I wasn't going to co-sleep this time around. I was going to be strong and have her learn to sleep alone, in her crib. She hated it and wouldn't sleep well. She sleeps much better next to me and I get more sleep when I can just roll over, nurse her and go back to sleep. I tried doing what I thought I should do in the best interest of my child but it turns out she had other plans, other needs....and I adjusted.

That's what being a parent is about. Adjusting to fit the needs of your children even if you never thought you'd do this, that or the other. Or even if you thought you would always do XYZ. You never know until you know. And those who do not have children will never truly know and will never truly understand.

So I just bite my tongue and say "That's a thought." or "Yeah - maybe I'll look into that."

PS...the same can be applied to people who have children who opt to parent in a different style. I don't, for a minute, think my ways are the only way but they are the ways that work best for my family. Clearly I have a lot of issues with being told what I should or shouldn't do, huh? :)

The Story of Floam

Yep - you read that right. Floam.

In a moment of weakness I did something I swore I would never do.....I gave in and ordered my child something he saw in a commerical. Darn that NickJr station! Why must they have so many commercials? I'm usually good about skipping commercials since we record all shows on the DVR but lately I've been lax and the prince has been finding his own shows to watch (the kid is so smart that he knows how to work the DVR menus and pick shows for himself). In my defense, I am busy tending to the baby during these times. :)

Anyway, this morning I heard him play the same commercial over and over and over and over. Pretty soon he comes running out to get me; "Mama! Come see something really cool!" I follow him back and watch the commercial. He says "I really, really want that." I say "Not today. Maybe you could ask Santa or hey - I know, maybe it can be your prize when you are all potty trained!"

The prince dissolves into tears. "Nooooo Mama! I really really want it. Realllllllly!! Some kids even in diapers get to have it." I say "Honey, I'm not even sure what you'd do with it." to which my smart child starts telling me all the things he can do with it and how much fun he would have and how it would keep him busy when I was putting baby sister to sleep.

I say "You're right - that does sound like fun but not today." Oh my - the water works that boy can come up with. He just broke my heart into a million pieces and I could tell that he had really given this a lot of thought as usually with this situation I say "Nope - not today." and that's it....not the case with the Floam.
Heck, we can take the prince to the toy store with every intention of letting him pick out a toy and 9 times out of 10, he will decide not to. It's really not like he asks for everything he sees. I had to give him credit for that - he's always been super good about hearing "No honey, not to day."

So.....I went to the website to check it out and finally agreed to order some. Sometime next week I'll be eyeball deep in Floam. Fun. Wanna come over and play? :)

The Princess Is Having A Bad Night

Poor girl. She is having so much trouble staying asleep tonight. Exhausted, I put her down about 7:30 tonight. She drifted off after talking to me for a bit (it's one of my favorite times of the day with her. As she gets ready to fall asleep, she takes her binky out of her mouth and starts cooing and talking with me. Her eyes are closed and she is snuggled up tight against me) she drifts off.

Twenty minutes later, she's awake. I try to nurse her back down but alas, the prince realizes I'm not in the front of the house and starts yelling "MOM!" "MOMMY" "WHERE ARE YOU??" Over and over and over. That's all it takes - her eyes pop open and she starts to cry. I finally get her settled again and the neighbor starts up his chain saw. She hates that noise (she also can't stand the vacuum cleaner, dust buster or blender) and starts to cry. I close her bedroom window and silently curse the guy who has a chain saw fetish (a regular occurrance in our neighborhood these days).

She *finally* is drowsy enough for me to put her down again. I stay until she quiets down.

D arrives home and she and the prince go to play trains in his room before reading stories and settling in (yes, I let him stay up until she gets home. So shoot me - the boy needs his mommy and she needs him.). I hear them getting a bit loud......and so does the princess (her room is directly across the hall from his). I go back into her room and once again rock my crying child.

She is out again now - hopefully for a few hours. Poor little thing - it's so hard to sleep in this house sometimes.

You Know You Are Desperate When......

....you raid the freezer in search of some long forgotten frozen cake or other yummy surprise.

Yes - that was the scene in our kitchen last night. Desperate for a treat, D and I were pulling things out of the back of the freezer (things best left alone, really. Who knew you could forget you had frozen chicken dated back to March of 2003? Oh yeah - good thing it was garbage pick up day - we had a bunch of stuff to toss out). We finally hit upon a package marked "Cheesecake 12/04"! Pay Day!!! Cheesecake left over from my 40th birthday party.

We popped that sucker in the microwave, sliced the three pieces into two servings and sat down in front of the tv to watch a movie and eat 8 month old, formerly frozen cheesecake. YUM!!

New photos to share!

So while D was off studying today, I took the kids and went to The Picture People. The goal was a photo of the two of them together but that didn't pan out so well. I'll have to try again next month - maybe they will both cooperate a bit more.

I did get a good shot of each though. The prince was more than happy to comply when the photographer said "Act silly!" and the princess looks just "ducky" in her pose.

I know I'm baised and all but I have the cutest kids EVER! :)

And She's Off!

OY! The princess is crawling. Yep...crawling. I wasn't expecting this at 6 months since the prince didn't crawl until 10 months. I feel cheated out of 4 months of non-mobility (and therefore a lower level of stress since she can now get into everything!). *sigh*

But on the other hand - she is SO proud of herself and that excitement is fun to watch. Plus I have to admit, it's really amazing to watch this tiny being move around the house on her own. She just seems so little still.

Life just moved to a whole new level of fun.

More Questions and Answers

From Daria:
1. If you could have a personal chef come & cook you one meal, taking into consideration ONLY your preferences & no one else's, what would you eat?
Me: Eggs Benedict with hash browns. What can I say? I'm a girl with simple tastes. :)

2. If you could have a room that was only yours, with no one else allowed in unless you invited them & no one else's input in decorating, what would it have in it? What would it look like? Money & space are no object.
Me: Oh my! Great question. How much space do I have in this blog? :) It would be a huge room with wall to wall plush carpet with the thickest of padding underneath. I would have comfy, wonderful couches and one of those chair and a half things that I could really curl up in. I'd have shelves of books and tons of photos of my kids and D. I mean TONS!! I have an affinity for photos of my kids and too many woul dnever be enough. I'd have a fridge stocked full of my favorite goodies and lots of water. Oh - and I'd have a fancy schmancy coffee maker (but I'd have to learn how to make my favorite coffee drinks first so I could really use it well). I'd also have a TV with lots of stations.

3. If you could have a perfect example of any one kind of tree growing in your yard (and it would be healthy & gorgeous, no matter what), what tree would you choose?
Me: An evergreen. I'm a girl from the Pacific Northwest and I love my evergreen trees.

From Tracey:
1. What ONE thing from your life would you not like your kids to know about until they're old enough not to repeat it?
Me: I'd have to say that I would rather they not know how I feel about a few certain family members (from both sides). I think that would just be awkward. :) Does that count as one thing? Hmmmmm.....

2. Did a book or a movie have a significant impact on your life? If so, what was it and why? (compound question I know, it could be considered cheating).
Me: No. Hee Hee. Ok - let me think.......you know what? I don't think so. But then, I guess it could be mommy brain syndrome and I just can't remember. Sad.


3. How would you describe yourself, in 5 words, to a complete stranger so that they felt they got a sense of who you are?
Me: Introverted (I know - hard to believe, right?), Fun, Intelligent, Responsible and Trustworthy

4. Choose a favorite cheese :)
Me: Tillamook Medium Sharp Cheddar

Picture of Estelle, Jean and Charlie

If you are a reader of E's blog then you are probaby here to check out their one and only family photo. E is the one with glasses. :)

To those of you who don't read E's blog.....you probably don't care. LOL!!!